All good things must come to an end

To my true and blue blog readers from literally all over the world and to the 5'5" creepy guys on OkCupid:

I regret to inform you that I have deactivated my OkCupid account. Yes, that means there will be no more Pointing. (well, I'm sure I'll point at something) Clicking (again, clicking probably will still happen but not at cute strangers but more at my desktop icons) but most importantly no more DATING.

It's been a wild ride. I've met some really interesting characters some tall (The Animator, The Catch), some not tall enough (The Renaissance Man), some a bit creepy/psychotic (The Scientist/The Stalker),  a few too feminine (The Artist, Sideways), some definitely not straight (The Promo Guy) and some just absolutely perfect but just too far away (sigh... Hot Jersey Guy... sigh -also please note I didn't actually meet him online). It had it's laughs, it's up and down but this ride is making me nauseous and I want off.

Love always,

Your eternal (and now rightfully so) skeptic.

VIDEO CLIP TIME:



Okay I hope we all had a good cry. And now that it's all out, I'll explain why.

The Catch, was surprise, SURPRISE, not a catch at all. In fact, I'm pissed off that I even named him The Catch because to be honest there wasn't even a catch like he was great but he had erectile dysfunction or he's perfect but he has this really awkward taxidermy hobby. Nope, he was actually just like all the other assholes I met on OkCupid and off of the site as well. Just when I convinced myself I could actually like the guy he goes MIA without even so much as a lie like, "I'm moving to China, it's been nice knowing you!" Seriously, like what the fuck? I'm beginning to think I really might be an idiot. Let's see this happened with The Musician, New Years Guy, Medicine Man and now The Catch? I mean three of four were in the last two months. Yup. Done. Sorry.

Especially since The Catch actually said, "I would never just disappear" or something equal to that. Like he'd be all big and man enough to tell me he just wasn't interested anymore if that might be the case. Well, that was proven wrong before I even really had time to digest his words fully. You know what the catch was? Me catching the load of bullshit he threw in my direction. Do I sound angry and bitter?

Well, I should because I am.

And here I thought everything was going to end magically. I mean it did for fucking Elizabeth Gilbert and her stupid book Eat. Pray. Love. Well, here's my book review Lizzie: After you ate, gained weight and were hysterical in your own self pity your book (not to even mention the film) got so boring it actually almost took me 6 months to read (and I fell asleep the second Julia Roberts got to India).

Okay, I'm sorry Elizabeth. I'm really happy you found love at the end of your book but that was just too perfect and I'm not sure how it even came true for you and well, congratulations you got a second book out of it.

Unfortunately, this is not how Point. Click. Date ends. This skeptic will keep on thinking that online dating is a sham and that only if I actually treated it like a full time job would it actually result in something. And even then can you call something you put that much effort in love?! And really, if I did put that much effort in just think of all the other cool things I'd be missing out on.

And that got me thinking. For the last six months, I've been focusing all my attention on my dating/love life. All of it. I tried taking a graduate class to distract me but it didn't really work. I just ended up promoting my blog to my classmates and feeling the need to drink more to cope with the added stress and then I drunk-texted people that I shouldn't have.

I need to be stopped. I have been all consumed by dating and all it's given me is a bunch of drama. And I don't want to be the girl with the drama. Not cool. Once upon a time, I made art and participated in theater - not sure when the last time that happened. I had dreams and hopes other than maybe this fling will turn into something more meaningful.

With all the free time I have who knows what fun things I will discover!


And guess what? This girl is going to BLOG about it.

I'm going to blog about me proactively not dating. No, I'm actually going to avoid it. Like the plague. And I can't think of a better time to start this then right around lent which starts Wednesday! I'm not religious but I was raised Catholic so I'm sure someone is really smiling down on me for actually participating in lent this year. Or maybe their frowning as I'm pretty sure I'm not doing it correctly. Whatever, the point is for AT LEAST the next 40 days I'm going to proactively not date and let's be real this may go on for another 40 after that and another 40 after that...

Also, I know what you must be thinking but "Um... what about your 10 day trip to Florida with The Ex???" Well,  I'm not sure what the hell I'd call that but it's definitely not dating. Although, now that I'm not dating at all, sex could enter back into the equation for my 10 day vacation in Florida. And I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that. Because really, I'm not sure how I can not date and have sex. And to go too long without sex is no good for business. I'll be cranky and write cranky blog posts and no one wants to read that. So, maybe I can somehow figure out how to not date and get laid anyway without becoming a trashy whore. Now THAT sounds like a blog.

There's one more thing, dear readers, before I leave you with my link for my new adventure in life after dating. There's something I should tell you. It may come to you as a surprise. But as all good things must come to an end, all great things must come full circle.

The Musician is back in the picture.

Obviously we aren't dating because that wouldn't make any sense. But for some reason the kid has stuck in my mind all these months. I'm not in love with him if that's what you're thinking. No, the real reason is because once upon a time, I really couldn't wait to get to know him. And then, well instead of getting to know him, I got him naked. And really, the only wonderful amazing conversations I remember having with him were before I saw him naked.  Not that we didn't have fun while naked... I digress. What I'm saying is I saw real potential in him as just a person I would like. And although I said some pretty harsh things about the guy, I rushed into making it something before I even got to know him. Being his friend first would have made a lot more sense, looking back. And hey, since I'm not in the market for dates but I am in the market for friends, I emailed him and proposed a friendship. And he accepted (like facebook but sweeter aww). And do I still think he is a little socially retarded? Yes. Do I still probably disapprove of the way he treats women? Yes. But, I'm his friend now. And I will just shake my head at him when he does dumb things and think, "Oooh silly musician and I actually wanted to date you once, back when I dated...."

It's going to be great. I'm excited for not dating.

So please on Wednesday, March 9th, 2011. Please join me on:


Life. After Dating


http://lifeafterdating.tumblr.com/ (Not that I don't love blogspot but I just don't get tumblr so I figured I'd give a whirl!)

THE FINAL POINT. CLICK. DATE. VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Should I stay or should I go?

Believe it or not but today marks the 6 month anniversary of Point. Click. Date. !!! And I have a very special Anniversary Video Clip time brought to you by the Huxtables - VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Six months. And I've pointed a ton, clicked even more but I have only met twelve lucky guys from OKCupid. 

According to all the match.com commercials, 1 out of 5 relationships start online so remember the post I did about statistics, The Dating Game? Well, according to these statistics I actually suck at dating. Or maybe this means I should have been on match.com this whole time.

Or...


Do I even dare say it? Maybe, for me, it's 1 out of 12 people you meet online will turn into a relationship. As nervous as it makes me to admit this, The Catch could actually turn into something that at least comes close to resembling a relationship if not turn into one. It's a big statement I know. We've only been on four dates but I literally find myself looking and looking for flaws and trying to point them out to myself. Things like he changes the subject to fast, he talks in this ridiculous voice to his puppy  - but really? Who am I kidding these flaws are not deal breakers - not even close. And all the good qualities, well there pretty good. And all this means well, I really like him. And I'll go out a limb here and say the feeling is mutual.

So, we'll see. Unfortunately, given my track record in the last 6 months there have only been three guys I got excited about and all three completely went MIA as soon as I got excited. So, it's hard for me to really think that The Catch, as perfect as he may be, won't just be a catch and disappear just like all the others did. The awesome thing is I actually told him about this fear. He told me he wasn't the type to do that - and because I'm a fan of the American legal system I'll believe he's innocent until proven guilty.

I ALSO told him about The Ex!! I told him about the dragging on of the break up and my impending trip to Florida to visit The Ex - all of it! Of course, he asked why I didn't just change/cancel the flight and I didn't get into it but I said although I might shorten it I was hoping to really go down there to give myself closure. And after that the reaction was not quite what I expected. He said something along the lines of: "Well, I think the only solution to this is that you stay the night." I almost spit my wine in his face. I wasn't sure why that was his reaction. Did it mean we should just sleep together because he wanted to make sure he got that in before I left for Florida? Or did he want me to stay the night so he could convince me for an entire night why going to Florida is a bad idea? Or was it something completely different or really bizarre? It was really none of the above, I'm not sure I still REALLY understand his reasoning but after going to The Living Room and having another glass of wine and some kissing on the couch (yes I was sober and yes I was actually okay with kissing in public - weird I KNOW!)  the answer was yes, yes I should go to his house and stay the night.

We went to his house, made dinner with his roommates and just hung out. Nothing more than kissing happened when we went to bed and overall it was a really awesome night. He drove me home the next morning and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Until...

I called The Ex - before your shake your head at me I called BECAUSE he called me drunk at 4 in the morning. Oh yea, it was awesome when I got two phone calls back to back while sleeping at The Catch's house. It totally supported my earlier statements that going down to Florida would be strictly friendly and to ends things -NOPE, No it didn't. I think The Catch was really put off by it but because I'm the most awkward person in the world I think he realized that I wasn't happy about the phone call or expecting it.


So yes, I called The Ex to see if he was okay because I could barely make out his voicemails. The conversation was going fine until he asked...."What did you do last night?" I thought about what I did, knew I couldn't say it, blanked and stumbled over words and said something like, "Ummm I just hung out?" And then I tried to cover this statement or something by saying, "I met someone who knows Laura (one of his best friend's fiancé)." And that's when he went ballistic, asked if I took this guy home and then said other really terrible things and proceeded to hang up. He then only would communicate with me via text until 11:30pm at night when he picked up the phone and said he wasn't going to talk because it was too late. Mind you, two days prior to this insane behavior The Ex called me, surprise DRUNK, and yelled at me for about two-three hours and told me how horrible I was to him.

And the question everyone has an answer for but me: Should I stay or should I go? Cue the music - VIDEO CLIP TIME 2!:



I know the answer is no. I know I should just cancel it, eat the change/cancel fee, try and plan something else that does NOT involve The Ex for another time -  I know this. I get THIS. Not only should I not go, I should not WANT to do. But, despite everything that's happened, I just don't think I can not go. I don't want to go down there to mess around and prolong this break up even more, I'm serious when I say this. I don't even want to sleep in the same bed with him let alone sleep with him. But, I do want to see him. I truly want to go down there to end things face to face, once and for all. I just don't think it will feel the same over the phone. I honestly know that after I see him, I can't talk to him again so I'd like to have one last time where we are actually being civil to one another and are enjoying each others company - as friends and friends alone. Maybe if I see that we can act like friends that one day that's what we'll really be. Maybe it's too idealistic of me and going down there will be an even worse version of the past two phone calls I've had with The Ex but I think I'll regret it if I don't try to end things on a good note.

All together now: I'm. An. Idiot.

But then I get a text message: "I'm heading to bed. Thought I'd say goodnight...."

I might be an idiot but I'm an idiot that gets a goodnight text message from someone I think is a catch.

A blind date, a second date & a quick trip to Jersey

A lot can happen in a month, even more in just a week. This week was one of those weeks. I also say this because I'm wondering why I would ever book a ticket to see The Ex 6 weeks in advance. Yet another example of why this blog should be called I'm. An. Idiot. More about that later, on to my very eventful week.

First, the blind date. A while ago my roommate, Erin, said it would be interesting if I was set up on a blind date and compared a blind date to an online date. I told this to my friend Lily and about two days later she had set me up on a blind date. I was definitely more nervous because I knew about two things about him: He was in grad school at Northeastern and he worked with my friend Lily. Not exactly the information you need to know if you're going to hit it off with someone. We met at Tory Row in Harvard Square at his suggestion. It was a cool place, he was cute and really fun. But... I just wasn't into him. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better blind date but for whatever reason I couldn't picture dating him. I do realy think he's cool though so I'm wondering if there is a way to be his friend. We split the bill so I thought that was a good start to a beautiful friendship. As for going on a blind date vs. an online date, well, my nerves were much higher before the blind date but it was actually a lot easier going on the blind date. When I go on a date with someone I meet online I feel like I have to remember everything they've said in messages and in their profile as well what I've said in messsages and what I have made public information on my profile. Another thing that sucks about online dating is because of the messages you have before you go on a date the few icebreaker questions you would ask at the beginning have already been answered. I had to say since Blind Date and I knew three or less facts about one another the conversation was endless and pretty great. Although I do have to give Blind Date credit, he had a great personality and wasn't shy at all.

Another reason I think I wasn't as into Blind Date as I would have been if the date had happened a week earlier was because I couldn't stop thinking about WTFiTC Guy which I'm going to remame The Catch because either there is one or he is one, it remains to be seen.

I had canceled on The Catch because something extremely tragic in The Ex's life which I won't talk about here because it's too sad and too serious to write about here. Anyway, to be there for The Ex I rearranged my whole schedule. I thought if the situation was reversed I would need and want to him to be with me. I found out quickly that The Ex didn't want or need me to help him get through this terrible time. I think this finally was what I needed to make me realize that this isn't the kind of boyfriend I need in my life. I want to be in a relationship in which the other person wants me around him when things are bad, good and everything in between. The Ex only wants me around when things are good and when I did finally see him and he said "It's just eaiser to be with my friends right now" he might as well said, "It's just easier to have you not so close to me." He's always been like this but it took this tragic event for it really to sink in. He's not a support system for me and he won't let me be a support system for him. We have always had the potential to be something great but I cannot and will not waste another day waiting for him to come around, grow up and for us to reach that potential. I'm starting to see that it probably won't ever happen. And now I have this looming trip to Florida. Do I cancel? Do I go down to end things once and for all? Again so much can happen in a week let alone a month, so as hastily as I booked the trip, I'm not going to hastily cancel the trip. When the trip gets closer hopefully I'll know what to do.

Back to The Catch. When I realized The Ex had no need for me to be around, I uncancelled the date with The Catch and we went for drinks at The Russell House, again at the suggestion of Blind Date (I don't think he realized by telling me it was a cool place I'd go on a date there with someone else). The place was great and I had another amazing date. Seriously, he's perfect and it's pissing me off. I told him this and he saw skeptic that I truly am. Although, I have been wondering maybe he's not perfect at all and any other person would be able to see his imperfections but I can't get past how amazingly good looking he is. I'm blinded by his gorgeousness.

As for me and my flaws, I told him about the blog! I think he was little weirded out about it to be honest but he kept a good attitude about it. He told me he was just going to keep asking, "Are you going to blog about this?" And telling him about my blog got me a kiss so good thing I told him about it! I told him he couldn't look for the blog or read and it he promised he wouldn't but only if I kissed him. No brainer! It was pretty adorable and a very sweet kiss.

As for my other issue I wanted to tell him about aka The Ex and my future trip to Florida, I tried to tell him, I really did. It just never quite got out. Next time, I swear, because there is going to be a next time! The Catch was even more adorable at the end of our date. I was headed to NYC for the weekend and he asked when I was getting back and I said Monday but not until late. And he said, "Well, I want to see you as soon as I can after Monday." I melted and said Tuesday, of course Tuesday. And if my life was a movie this song would have played, VIDEO CLIP TIME!:



And then I went home and gushed about him for hours to my roommate in good teenage fashion. I'm trying to not get too excited about him though because last week he wasn't in my life and next week he might be out of it again, who knows really. Okay, I'll be a little honest between The Musician, New Years Guy and Medicine Man all dissapearing just when I thought things were going good I'm a little burned and don't want to be burned off guard again.

So I headed to NYC for the weekend to visit my friends, a perfect way to not overthink things and get too excited about The Catch. Of course, a few days before I left for NYC, I thought it might be nice to let Hot Jersey Guy know about my upcoming visit. To be honest, my intentions were to try and hang out with him in a very innocent way. I wanted to just kind of stare at him and admire him like a trophy and say to myself, "Yeah, I did that." But by the time I met up with Hot Jersey Guy on Saturday night I had one too many drinks and it didn't take me long until I was making out with him in a bar. And it was all me. I have never been so forward in my life. I'm not sure what came over me. I think the combination of the fact that I haven't gotten any real action in awhile, I've been on a "look but don't touch" basis with The Catch - no easy task at all and I just find Hot Jersey Guy so freaking hot, I was all over that - real fast. And next thing I know, I'm in New Jersey. You know you're no longer a New Yorker when... you go to Jersey to get laid. But I have to say, on my train ride on the PATH back to Manhattan the next morning, I thought, "Yup, I did that. Again."

Cue the music please. VIDEO CLIP TIME 2:

When to stop omitting the truth

About two weeks ago I got a message from this guy on OKCupid. And his message started off kind of similar to most messages: I liked you profile, how long have you been in Boston - and then as if he caught himself mid-type he wrote: "You know, I'm going down the path that a zillion guys have probably gone down already. I don't want to be like them." And then he asked me what question have I not been asked but really want to be asked and stated that was the question he would ask. It was kind of charming so I did my usual thing. Checked his profile out. His pictures showed this Tom Brady look alike and his profile - well it is absolutely ridiculous. Ridiculous meaning, there is no way that this guy is serious. It talks about how he thinks the most intimate thing a woman and man could do was cook in the kitchen together. It says things like he wants to find a person he can do romantic things with on a regular basis and I just have to quote this: "Have you ever seen that couple staring into each other's eyes, knowing very well they wouldn't change a thing about where they are, or who they're with? Ya. I want that." Yup. Unbelievable. Kind of like these guys in VIDEO CLIP TIME:





So even though I didn't buy for a second that this Tom Brady look-alike, manly but gorgeous guy actually is sensitive, caring and romantic and was convinced his whole profile is a set up, a trap to lure girls in and he's actually a huge dick- despite all this, I message him back. I decide, however, to cut to the chase. I say something along the lines of: "If you really want to be different just ask me out, why do we have to do this back and forth on here when it's so much more fun to do it in person." He asks if I'd like to go out sometime, I say yes and then he does not reply back until 12 days later. When he finally does reply he writes as if no time has gone by and asks if I'm available over the weekend. And we make plans for a day date, which was yesterday.

How was it? It would be an understatement to say it went well. It was great. We had fun and it was a real, legitimate date. Not just drinks at some stupid bar. We met at Park Street and I almost didn't know what to do when I saw him. He was way better looking than his pictures and I felt like I was way out of my league. But he was super nice and right off the bat starting asking me questions about myself. We went to Starbucks and got coffee and then we headed to lunch. Now this part was hard. I didn't know where we were going for lunch and as we walked he said I was thinking Fajitas and 'Ritas and my heart sank - this happens to be where The Ex took me on our first date and the only times I've been there since have been with The Ex. But what was I suppose to say? No, I can't go there! That would have been totally awkward So, I quickly made a mental list of the reasons why this was completely different. We went to Starbucks first, it was the day and when I went with The Ex it was night, we sat in an entirely different place in the restaurant, I ordered steak fajitas instead of shrimp, we ordered separately instead of ordering fajitas for two, we were getting dessert afterward, and so on and so on.

Thanks to the list instead of having a meltdown I had a great time. He was not shy on the questions. I think the first question before our entrees came out was "What are you looking for?" I almost choked on my tortilla chip. Who asks that? And they kept coming He asked me if I had been in love, if I lived with a guy. And then he asked. "When was your last relationship?"

I stumbled through this answer. It went something like, "Um. Recently. Um. Well, I mean about 6 months ago. We broke up in, um, August. Yeah. August. You know, when I started going on the site. Um yeah." And then he either asked me another question or I changed the subject to be honest I think I almost fainted. But thankfully, we didn't dwell on this. I wasn't lying, The Ex and I broke up 6 months ago. I was just omitting the fact that about 2 weeks ago we slept together and about 1 week ago I booked tickets to go to Florida to visit him for 10 days in March....(no comment)

Anyway, the rest of the date was pretty wonderful. We finished lunch and walked through the park. We put our leftovers in his truck (a man with a truck is sexy, it just is) and then we walked to this little cafe on Newbury Street that somehow I never knew was there called L'Aroma Cafe & Bakery.  We sat talked about astrology over dessert. And then after dessert we walked back through the Public Garden and the Commons, past his car so he could walk me to the train. And before he left he got in a few compliments that made me melt and told me he'd really like to see me again.

And as I walked down the steps at the Park Street station I thought, "Holy Shit, could this guy really be for real?" Because it really did seem like he was a sexy, manly but sensitive, caring, funny gentleman. On the first date, I literally found no flaws. None. I mean he seemed honest and open, blunt and to the point without being to overbearing, he opened doors for me, laughed at my jokes, said he was extremely close with this older sister, has a GODDAMN BLACK LAB PUPPY NAMED LILY.  I could call this guy Mr. Perfect but instead I've decided to go with "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-THE-CATCH" guy? Or WTFiTC Guy.

So yea... amazing guy, amazing date. I wasn't ready for it. I also wasn't ready for this feeling: GUILT. I couldn't help but feel guilty. For TWO major reasons: 1. This blog. 2. The Ex. I haven't lied, yet, but I haven't told the truth about either of these things which I think are major things to know. But when do I stop omitting the truth? I mean I think it was okay to leave these things out on the first date. I wasn't sure how I felt about him and I didn't want him to have a first impression be the wrong impression. This blog and The Ex are a part of my life but it's not what defines me or my life. But still, I'm plagued by the question: Is omission really lying? I never had this problem with the 11 other people I met on online. I didn't really care if I was lying or not. And I know it was only one date but the guy brought his A game on his profile and then brought his A+ game on the date. So even if WTFiTC Guy happens to have a CRAZY catch that is a total deal breaker, I'm hooked for now and with a second date already lined up I'm nervous. Do I need to drop my catch or catches, as the case may be, on the second date?

I'm not afraid to tell him about the blog. I think if he's cool, he'll think it's funny and not be angry. Besides it's not like I go out with every single person that messages me. I don't date for the blog, I just happen to blog about my dating. Plus, it's kind of hard to get mad when I'm writing about how seemingly perfect he is, although he has to be okay with not reading it - at least for now. As for the The Ex part. That's a slippery slope that I can't help but think will end in a terrible crash landing. Why did WTFiTC Guy decide to show up AFTER I bought a $500 plane ticket for a 10 day vacation in Florida with The Ex- WTF, WTFiTC Guy?!? FML. -Sorry I just couldn't help that.

I feel really torn do I reveal the truth or keep on avoiding it? My gut says say something and if he's really as perfect as he seems to be he'll understand. So, I have 4 days to find the confidence to think I'm still a catch despite my catch(es) I haven't told him about. I'm just hoping he tells me what the catch with him is first.


To be continued.... in the mean time, an 80s song about lies - this video is incredible so please enjoy VIDEO CLIP TIME 2!!:

It's not you, it's me. Well, maybe it's you...

After realizing how awesome I am at dating, I decided to get back out there! I went on a date on Thursday, and oh man, it was a doozy! And since it was just Groundhog's Day last week - VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Groundhog Day might be my favorite movie - ever. I should update my OkCupid profile.

Alright back to my date. We hadn't talked that much over messages but I did learn he was a "beer snob." His words, not mine - in retrospect, this was a sign for things to come. Since he was a "beer snob" and he asked if I wanted to meet somewhere near where I lived, I picked Lord Hobo. Lord Hobo is definitely a place I thought worthy of a beer snob. Also, I REALLY like Lord Hobo and the last time I was here I went with The Hipster (click here to watch that wonderful Hipster video clip). That date with The Hipster was so bad, I decided I would try the same date location again. And the date was GREAT but....

But my date, The Promo Guy, well I'm 95% sure he's not straight and he's very much in denial about it. Even I tried to be in denial about it for the first 5 minutes.

The first sign was he was really flamboyant. I mean really. He did just spend two years in LA and I've heard guys are more feminine out there, but it was a little more intense then just feminine.

And I know I have said a few different times that the guys I met from OkCupid and went on dates with gave off a gay vibe but this, this was different. I didn't really think the other guys were gay, I was just turned off by gay vibe they gave off. I really believe Promo Guy is gay. And the biggest sign that made me believe this was  kept reminding me how much he liked girls. For example, we were talking about scary movies and how there is always an unnecessary naked girl scene and quickly, he says, "Well, you know, I like it, because I'm a guy." And he said something similar to this about five different times on five different topics. It drove me crazy but as the date went on and he turned out to be real great guy, I just felt more and more bad for him.

Although, within the first five minutes of our date, I was kind of pissed. I was like great, I have to sit here with this guy who's clearly in the closet and pretend we're having a really great time. Therefore, I tried to make excuses. As he continued to plead with me he was straight I finally switched the way I looked at the night. In my head I turned the switch from "potential date or guy to be interested in" to "potential gay best friend" and then the date went great. He was an AWESOME gay best friend. He laughed at all my jokes, we talked about how hard it was to eat healthy - he once ate 5 Little Debbie cupcakes in one day but how could he not eat them, they were free! He works on promotional tours which are the people you see on your city streets giving shit out for free. He's a step above those people that give you shit for free, he's hires and manages those people. Hence why he had so many Little Debbies at his disposal.

So yeah, we had a great time but if he's going to keep on pretending he's straight he's barking up the wrong tree. Love my gay guys, but not that much.

As we parted ways, I swear he sent out jazz hands in order to bring me in for a hug. I laughed, hugged him and walked away, thinking I'd never see him again. You see though, when he when he texted me  the next day to tell me how much fun he had and that he wanted to hang out again soon, I was torn. We had a blast and I do want to hang out with him again but I don't want to feed his denial or lead him on. I asked a few friends and  they all were torn too. Eventually, I gave in and said yes, we could hang out again. For the inner psychoanalysis in me, I need to get to the source of why he can't come out. He grew up in Massachusetts, went to Emerson College for production, moved to LA - all of these places very gay friendly places. He's also 25 years old and it's 2011! To be fair, however, I'm not sure he knows its 2011 either because....

And this was probably the worst part of my date. He had...


AN EARRING!!! A tiny hoop!!! Really?!?!! What guy has had a tiny hoop earring since the 90s?! Guess that could be his argument for not being gay- his total lack of fashion sense! I really couldn't stop starring at it. It was so hideous and reminded me of Vanilla Ice or the New Kids on the Block. And yes, I love the 90s, but there are some things that happened in the 90s that should stay in the 90s. Number one thing that happened in the 90s that should stay in the 90s: WHITE GUYS WITH HOOP EARRINGS. Really, it was terrible then and it's even worse today.









Of course, I can't mention New Kids on the Block without posting (another) VIDEO CLIP TIME:

The Dating Game

Not much has changed in the last week, except my attitude. I've realized that like any good resolution, I followed mine for about a good week or so and then totally stopped. This was supposed to be the year of no expectations! It only took two weeks into the new year and all of a sudden I was back to having expectations. I expected something, anything, from basic strangers!And well, that set me up for total disaster. Not that I'm blaming myself for New Years Guy and Medicine Man for disappearing and being total lame guys but if I had gone into both situations with truly no expectations I don't think I would have been nearly as bummed out about it.

Like I said, my attitude is much different as I write this entry. I did a number of things to get me out of the funk I was in last week. First, I called The Ex, he came over, we made dinner together, he slept over and it felt like the old days - and even though it's not the old days and it can't be the old days, it was nice to pretend for the night. I then set up a date for Thursday with The Ex which went terribly wrong at the end of the night that left me screaming "HAVE FUN IN FLORIDA!" and slamming the car door in his face. I actually thought that this was going to be the last thing I ever said to him. That set me back a couple of days, funk-wise, but then I went to dinner with Kaitlin at Zoe's in Harvard Square. And I had sweet potato pancakes AMAZING. Sorry, this isn't a food blog although maybe it should be because eating and sleeping is pretty much what  I did the rest of the weekend. I woke up Sunday morning feeling refreshed and full. And then I realized I needed to call The Ex because again, I really thought he was just going to leave for Florida without saying Goodbye. I guess we'll never know if he would have just left but luckily he I called and came over Sunday night with ice cream and daisies to apologize for his ass-like behavior. We ended things on a good note - maybe too good and I should be depressed, crying like a baby but somehow I feel okay about things. I guess it's because I'm dumb and I truly believe I'm Carrie Bradshaw incarnate (it doesn't help that E! is now airing reruns of the Sex and the City either).

Anyway, I'm out of my funk and saying the word funk has obviously made me think of VIDEO CLIP TIME (Probably because I've worked/watched the Donkey Show one too many times):



Oh, Disco!

Since I was in a funk last week and pretty much benched myself from dating because of it, I was getting pretty down on myself for sucking at the dating game. I finally realized I was being too hard on myself! And I looked back at the last 5 months and actually, I'm pretty damn good at the dating game.

First of all, in the last 5 months, I've met 10 different people from OkCupid and since I went out on 5 dates with The Animator and 3 with Medicine Man (And I am counting the awkward double date with Andrea and his brother as a date) that equals 16 dates in 5 months! That's an average of 3.2 a month not bad - BUT - this doesn't include The Ex, The Musician, Hot Jersey Guy OR New Years Guy. Although I only went on one "real" date with The Musician, I'm going to count all the times we hung out which actually turns out to be 12 times, and I'm shocked at that number I really thought it was about 5 or 6 times total (woops). And I'm going to count 1 for Hot Jersey Guy and 2 for New Years Guy (since there was 2 awkward mornings). For The Ex, I'm going to have to estimate here, if The Musician was 12 in 5 months, I'm going to have to say 24 for The Ex. So, that's a total of 39 dates in 5 months making my average 7.8 dates per month - that's almost 2 dates per week!!


And if we pretend I'm a professional dater meaning my work week is 5 days instead of 7, that's 100 days of potential dates which you may say well 39 dates in 100 days is really only a 39% rate not great BUT I'm a big baseball fan. And I see those 100 potential dates as my "up to bats," making my batting average .390! Which is crazy! I'm like the Ty Cobb of dating. Okay, maybe this last part was a stretch but it beats being the Debbie Downer of Dating. So, I'm looking upward and onward! It's a new month and I think I'm ready to get back into the dating game!

Pity, Party of One, Your Table's Ready

Okay to be honest all weekend, I have been a huge Debbie Downer. Luckily between sequestering myself at home and working, the only fun I ruined was my own unlike..... VIDEO CLIP TIME:

So, yep I just had a pity party all by myself. But let's back up a bit shall we? The week started so wonderfully.

Sunday
Happy, content with all the different guys I was juggling - I saw it as options. Texting with the Medicine Man was non-stop and it was fun. He invited me to hang out on Monday. I guess I did have an awkward conversation with The Ex about basically telling him if we'd still been together I would have really thought about moving to Florida with him. It stung to even say those words aloud, I'm hoping it stung him to hear them. But, whatever The Ex would be gone soon and I had other people I could bring my attention to.


Monday
A day off - finally! I went to hip-hop yoga (not as crazy as it sounds just yoga to hip hop music) in the morning, watched a movie and slept all day until it was time to meet the Medicine Man. We met in Kendall at Think Tank. Which is actually a really cool restaurant/lounge. We just got drinks, although I really need to get dinner there sometime. Anyway, I was kind of nervous coming into the date because I had such a relaxing day and my last encounter with the Medicine Man was him bouncing off the wall. I just wasn't in the mood for a crazy amount of energy. Luckily, he was way more calm and we had a really great time. And the whole "I'm going to feel your pulse and tell you what kind of Chinese herbs you need, I can heal the things that bother you" was very attractive. Maybe I'm a total sucker and he does this to all girls to get them hooked but whatever, it worked. Also, I'm not sure if he sensed I was into his brother a bit last time we hung out but Medicine Man didn't fail to mention some unflattering stories about his brother on this date. It might have been unintentional but even if it was intentional I thought it was kind of cute. Anyway, we had a lot of fun, the conversation never had any awkward moments and all of a sudden it was late and time to go home.

We headed out and walked together with the intentions of him going to the train and me going home. Well, when we got to the point in which we should have parted ways we instead made out (side note: I'm getting real sick of the phrase made/make out but I feel kiss implies something sweeter) in the street. And then he said he'd "walk me home" and I'm sure you can all guess where this leads. So yeah, I finally gave in and invited him in. He ended up staying the night but I swear nothing happened except us making out. He didn't really try anything at first and finally when he did I was kind of into the whole teenage make-out session. He didn't seem to mind either, so all was well. And in the morning, I didn't have to worry about kicking him out because I really did have to go to work. :)

Tuesday
Exhausted and feeling kind of ill from lack of sleep, I went home early from work. And The Ex wanted to video chat. And we did, but something about it bothered me. We used to video chat when we were in the long distance part of our relationship. We had some pretty racy video chats, I won't lie, but since we pretty much video chatted everyday, not all of them were. This video chat on Tuesday reminded me of all those non-racy video chats, which reminded me of a time when even when we were 1000 miles away from each other we were still happy and somehow made things work. And I think this is where I started getting supplies for my pity party. On the bright side, Medicine Man and I were texting and sending emails like crazy. It was nice to get the attention.

Wednesday
More texting, more emails from the Medicine Man. And then he asked if I'd have lunch with him on Thursday. He didn't have work so he'd come into meet me for lunch. ADORABLE. Of course, I said yes. Oh man, I realized, I'm actually starting to like this guy. And this made things really awkward for me when I had a date with a new OkCupid guy that night.

Yeah, I had a date with... The Interrogator. I'm calling him that because I have no freaking clue what his job/title really is but it was long and had something to do with training people how to ask the right questions to companies who may be involved with fraud. He is also looking into getting into the FBI. So, you know The Interrogator seems appropriate. He also grilled me as well with questions before I got any in for him.

How'd the date go? Well, I was having awkward feelings about The Ex and new, fuzzy feelings about The Medicine Man so basically I wasn't really in the place to go on a date with someone brand new. Plus we went to Cuchi Cuchi which is this really cool restaurant but a fancy/pricey - well at least really chic. I was under the impression we were just getting drinks at the bar. Well, turns out he had a table reserved and we ended up getting some food too. I wasn't prepared for a formal date and this threw me off. I was acting like a nut, spilled my drink, kept mumbling when I couldn't get the mussels I ordered out of their shell. I don't know if he thought I was a weirdo or just nervous or both. I kind of wish someone was videotaping how awkward I was. He still paid for me (thank God, Cuchi Cuchi like I said isn't the cheapest place) and he even took me home in a cab - which was out of his way and paid for my share of the cab.

I guess it's true what they say about timing, if I had met The Interrogator a week or so earlier, we'd probably really hit it off. Unfortunately, I was a mess and I'm not surprised in the least bit that I haven't heard from him.

Thursday
I had lunch with the Medicine Man. We got cheap tacos and hung out. Another great date that ended with him telling me he'd give me acupuncture on Saturday and then kissed me on the forehead goodbye. Super cute.

That evening I went out with my Mom gushing about Medicine Man and saw Jersey Boys - so fun! On my walk home from the train, I talked to the Ex and when I said I was home he was sad that I had to go. Again, infuriating me for no great reason. I guess my frustration came from the idea that talking to a guy before bed should be reserved for best friends or boy friends, in my opinion, and while The Ex has recently said he feels he lost his best friend when I wasn't talking to him, he's made it very clear that he can't be just friends with me. And his move to Florida really rules him out as being anything more than friends. I'm still keeping my cool though. No need to get upset. Besides... I have other options.

Friday
Let the pity party begin! The Ex had been asking me to hang out on Friday but I wanted to keep my options open so I said I had plans. The fact is, I didn't have plans. This is the point where I realize New Years Guy has dropped off the planet. Really, what was the point of saying, "Yes, let's definitely hang out when I get back" if he obviously had no intentions of hanging out with me? Is passive aggressively turning someone down a cool thing to do? I don't need a rejection letter like The Actor gave me but honestly just ignore my text message if you're over me. Leading someone on just because you don't know what else to say is rude. Anyway, New Years Guy's behavior makes me think of The Musician which makes me feel like an idiot all over again. Again, this blog should really be called I'm. An. Idiot. I'm feeling more like one every day. I call The Ex and he's invites me to Clerys a cool bar with a dance floor downstairs. And this sets me over the edge. I don't know if he's going with friends to just have a fun time or to just go and grind up on any girl who will look his way. Then I realize, I'm getting jealous. And THEN I realize sleeping with him a couple weeks ago was not a strings attached moment. And I finally give into the fact that our 5 month break up is actually getting to me and bringing me down. So, I pick a fight with him which was irrational but I did mean some of the things I said.  Then I stay in and watch a movie about people falling in love. Pathetic.

Saturday
A new day? Hardly. I'm still in a terrible mood. I ask the Medicine Man if we're still on for my acupuncture treatment. Nope. But he's still going to come to the Donkey Show later that night which I happen to be working, so we make plans to hang out afterward. I ask him to tell me by 10pm how many people he's coming with so I can set tickets aside for him. And 10pm rolls around and I hear nothing. I finally get a text message at 12am saying he fell asleep and he's sorry, don't hate him. If I wasn't throwing a pity party for myself I wouldn't care  - things happen, but this isn't the week to make a mistake with me. Of course, I tell him it's fine. I go to bed disappointed, sad, mad and all the other negative emotions one can feel at the same time.

I really know how to pick em'.

Well, no time to cry about it and since I just saw Jersey Boys, I'll leave you with this classic VIDEO CLIP TIME, NUMERO DOS:

Balancing Act

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, step right up! Come and see the amazing balancing act performed by yours truly!

Ok, seriously though? I thought when I broke up with The Ex I'd have all this time for me to just do whatever I wanted. YEAH right. Dating is like a full time job and when you actually have a full time job it becomes extremely hard to balance everything. Hence my lapse in writing a new entry.

Last week, I was in DC for work which was busy and exhausting but I managed to have some fun in there as well. Interestingly, I hung out with my co-workers friend who I had met in New Orleans - remember my Fun, less than 48 hour, drama-free, vacation fling!? I thought it would be funny to text him and see if he was around. I was really thinking, "What a good story this will be for the blog!!" Unfortunately, it wasn't a good story at all. He messaged me back saying he might be able to hang out and then ignored my second text when I said I was coming down a day earlier. I only ended up seeing him because I went to dinner with my co-worker and he invited him to meet up with us. It wasn't awkward but the encounter was brief and uneventful - sorry readers, I kind of feel like I let you down.

Don't worry though, the last 10 days have been pretty eventful. And my "balancing act" has become MUCH more difficult these days. Not as difficult as this guy's though - VIDEO CLIP TIME!




Last week, I was juggling two guys - The Actor and New Years Guy. Today, I'm juggling New Years Guy, Medicine Man and. . . The Ex - I KNOW. I know. Anyway, let's recap by the boy shall we?

The Actor
We had that first great date and then I didn't hear from him so I figured he just wasn't that into me or had met someone else or he just plain forgot about me but I wasn't real upset or anything by it. Then 5 days after our first date, I get a message on OkCupid:

Sorry you haven't heard from me until now. As I said at the end of our date the other night, I had fun getting to know you a bit. I'm writing because, in spite of what I said about giving you a call to meet again sometime, I've realized I'm not really ready to be dating again, as I thought I was. I got hurt pretty badly in my last relationship and am just not available to moving on quite yet. Sorry to have left you hanging a bit and I hope you understand. I know how it can suck to not hear from someone who says they are gonna call and then disappear from the face of the earth, so I wanted to touch base to let you know what was going on. Best of luck,

What I wanted to write back but didn't:

1. If you weren't ready to move on, why did you go on an ONLINE DATING website?
2. Why are you telling me the details about why you aren't ready to move on? You sound pathetic.
3. I didn't think you disappeared from the earth and it didn't really suck that bad, please get over yourself.
4. BEST OF LUCK?! What did I apply for a job?
5. This message was over-dramatic and unnecessary, I knew there were no NORMAL actors.

I didn't even care that he didn't call but for some reason this message made me very angry.

New Years Guy
We had our first official date last Friday and to be honest I was such a hot mess. I got in a fight with my brother on the the phone which then had me upset and running late - 35 minutes late to be exact. I came running into the restaurant feeling terrible and then tried really hard not to talk to him about the fight but then I did. So, I verbally vomited all over him. The funny thing is? He was SUPER cool and chill about it. To be honest, as I was running to the date I realized I had no recollection of what he was like. I mean I remembered we talked for a really long time on New Years and obviously I liked him enough to bring him home but... I couldn't remember if he was funny or serious or a geek or all of the above! Turns out he was not only chill (or maybe he had to be because I was playing the hot mess role) but he was funny and talked a lot. And I found myself really having a great time. We had dinner and then got a couple of drinks and then he tried to make out with me in a bar. I wasn't ready for that kind of PDA so I thought it was wise to bring it home. And another sleepover ensued. The next morning? I pretty much had to kick him out this time, I waited until about 11am though. :)

And then an entire week went by and I didn't hear from him. I was all ready for another "best of luck" letter or text and was really pretty bummed. Luckily, my best friend Andrea was in town this weekend and encouraged me to text him. And we texted back and forth a bit and ended our convo on him saying we should hang out next week sometime. So, hopefully we really do hang out, I would really like to see him again.

Medicine Man
I think of all the guys I'm juggling right now, he's my favorite. Mostly because he's RIDICULOUS. I knew from our messages this would be the case. Here's how my nickname for him came about: Basically, he was working a full time job in Chicago and decided to get acupuncture one day at lunch. He realized in this moment of getting acupuncture he needed to be doing this with his life. So he quit his job, studied traditional Chinese medicine and is now an Acupuncturist and Herbalist in Boston AKA Medicine Man! This story alone, showcases his part ridiculous, part kind of awesome personality.

So, we had plans to meet up after the weekend but we were texting a lot throughout the week and I asked if he had any suggestions on what I should do with my friend when she was in town.  And he suggested we go have drinks in Harvard Square - me, him, Andrea and his brother. He was even nice enough to give us his brother's okcupid username so we could look him up. Andrea, my longtime partner in crime was down, only after checking out the photos of both.

Medicine Man was kind of crazy. I wondered if he was nervous or drunk or just forgot to take his Ritalin. Although he was really funny and his brother - OMG. To be honest,  I was kind of sad at first his brother hadn't messaged me first.  They were both cute but his brother was a little more chill. They were both actually hilarious and I had a really good time hanging out with them. I almost want to tell Medicine Man we have to go through a friend stage so in case things don't work out we can at least be friends. They were really that fun.

After our night out, I tried to figure out how I could pursue the brother and quickly realized that no way was that morally okay or would ever work out in my favor. And then Medicine Man kept texting me and through each text I find him more endearing by the second. i.e he's telling me about the amazon right now. Sigh..... Therefore, I'll stick with Medicine Man and hopefully I'll just get the bonus of getting to see his hot brother every now and then!

And what we've all been waiting for... drum role PLEASE (VCT2!):



The Ex
I'll break it down for you real simply here: I'm. An. Idiot. (Should I rename this blog?)

The Ex is moving to Florida - for real this time. And we decided to get dinner to make sure I'd see him before he left because he'll be busy preparing for his move and well, if you don't know why I'll be busy you just skipped to the end to get to the juicy stuff!

So, dinner happened and then drinks happened. And then all of a sudden I'm drunk and the next thing I know I'm crying and then hooking up with him in his car. Oh, brother. And then he picked me up from the airport when I got back from DC and we hung out again. He slept over and said something that basically felt like a dagger twisting in my confused and broken heart: "I miss you. It just feels like I lost my best friend." Who is this guy? And why couldn't he be the guy I was dating for 2.5 years. I guess if he was that guy then, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. The inner teen in me says: "WHATEVER."

And now, not only am I balancing three different guys but I'm balancing all these emotions, not to mention all this BAGGAGE, because of The Ex. But at the end of the day, The Ex is moving so I'm not really sure why I'm wasting any time and energy on dealing with those emotions, baggage or him.

I just can't help myself. Like I said, I'm. An. Idiot.

My Questions and Answers to Dating Rules and Etiquette

So far, the year of no expectations is going well! It's only been 5 days into the new year and I've already had a sleepover AND a great date with someone completely different!

Within this first great week of the year, however, I have been faced with some serious questions on dating rules and etiquette.

First, let me give you some background on New Years Guy. He's an International ______ Analyst. For the life of me I can't remember how to fill in that blank. I tell you this because I was really excited to call him The Analyst but I've already referred to him as New Years (his name) to too many of my friends. He went to college with my friend Liz and her boyfriend Slater and that's how we both ended up at the party in Charlestown. I caught him spot me while I was talking with Liz and it did not go unnoticed that he immediately came over to introduce himself. Although I give him credit he tried real hard to not be so obvious. And he even fooled me for a bit as after just a few minutes of talking he said, "Well, I'll talk to you later." I shrugged and figured he wasn't that interested but when we bumped into each other later, I realized earlier was totally part of this game and guilty as charged it totally worked! Our conversation pretty much lasted the entire night. And I learned he was very serious about the "Don't hook up with someone who is in a relationship" rule. A good rule to live by, I think. But seriously, he asked me about three times if I was with my friend (Kaitlin) and HER boyfriend (Caleb), triple checking that Caleb was not in fact MY boyfriend. Finally, just before midnight he asked directly if I was single. Good timing, New Years Guy.

Also, I can't go on because New Years Guy looked a lot like Ryan from the OC and well I can't get the theme song out of my head so.... VIDEO CLIP TIME!




Now that this theme song is in your head, I have my first topic for the Q&A session I will have with myself.

First Time for Sex

Q: Is sleeping with someone the first night you ever meet someone a do or a don't??
A: I'm okay with sleeping with someone on the first date, however, I'm not sure how I feel about sleeping with someone on the first meeting. I mean not that I haven't done it and I am definitely not saying it shouldn't happen ever but I think it can often give the wrong impression. Of course, I didn't and don't have any expectations of where things are going to go with New Years Guy but somehow in my half in the bag state on New Years Eve I profoundly though, "Things won't go anywhere if I sleep with him tonight." I also managed to come up with a new rule for myself which I think all women should follow: At least get dinner before sleeping with a guy. That way if he never calls again or if the sex is horrible and you hope he never calls again, at least you can say you got free dinner.

So, no sex with New Years Guy but a sleepover did happen which leads me to my next topic:  

Morning After Etiquette

Q: How long is too long to stay in the morning after a sleepover?
A: Seriously, I was about ready for New Years Guy to leave at 8:00am but dude didn't leave until 11:30am! Did he overstay his welcome or was I just being a brat? 8:00am might be asking someone to leave TOO early, but I don't know, we had just met! I wasn't ready to spend ALL morning with him. Maybe I was just being a brat though because seriously when he asked if I wanted to get breakfast when it was so close to noon I almost lost it. Luckily, I stayed cool and  played the hungover card even though, miraculously, I was not. I really did think he was a cool guy but I wasn't really ready for the whole "let's cuddle in the morning and eat breakfast afterward" deal just yet.

Q: How to say goodbye in the morning once someone decides to leave?
A: With New Years Guy and in many instances in the past, there has always been this weird moment when the guy is leaving. Do you kiss? Do you make plans to hang out next time? It definitely depends on the situation. With The Musician, things were temporary, we had no intentions of actually dating each other YET he always made this big to-do of kissing me goodbye in the morning, even going as far as rubbing my back and finally saying, "Let's hang out soon." Guys if you're reading, if you don't want to hang out again soon, don't say it. It's awkward for everyone involved. If the night was clearly just a one night stand or a once in a while stand don't pretend it's anything more than that! It's just silly. Leave and leave graciously. A quick peck on the cheek and a "this was fun" will suffice. On the other hand.... if you do want to see the girl again, get her number if you don't have it, maybe suggest a general time when you are free next, and again a quick peck on the cheek and a "this was fun" will suffice. Unless we've been dating for awhile I don't want to make out with you in the morning and give you a hug. Thanks.

Next topic:

Three Day Rule: To Call or To Text

Q: Is texting within three days the same as calling?
A: Okay, to be honest I was getting nervous only after 2 days that New Years Guy wasn't going to call me. I know after the whole hoop-la of him not leaving, I actually did really want to see him again. Also, I was starting to think not sleeping with him made him not want to see me again! Luckily, Monday evening he texted. And we made tentative plans and tonight as I have been writing this very entry he texted again to seal the deal on those plans. And I get that it's the 21st century and texting is a completely adequate mode of communication but I think a phone call is much more appropriate. I mean back in the day, and I mean way back in the day, men had to write passionate love letters to get a girl to go out with them, I don't think dialing my number that's input into your cell phone really is a big deal. Of course, I'll still go out with New Years Guy even though he made plans via text message but he loses a few points for sure. Even if he did end our conversation with something sweet (yet a little overeager in my book): "Great! I'm really looking forward to hanging out again." Sent tonight at 11:24pm EST.

Now that I have a dinner date set up my next topic is:

Paying the Bill Etiquette
Q: Do you offer to split the bill and how the *$#% do you do offer to split it smoothly?
A: My answer to this is yes, you do offer to split the bill. It's the right thing to do. The only time I didn't do it was my first date with The Musician but that was only because our first date happened THREE months after we started messing around. I figured he owed me a dinner, although I still felt real weird about it. Also, there is no real way to offer smoothly and I actually think I'm getting worse at it. I used offer and then when the guy said, "No, it's okay, I got it." I'd pretend to be all surprised and say, "Are you sure??" And then graciously thank him as if no one had ever bought dinner for me before. Now, I just go through the lines, the motions, my timing is off, the acting is terrible and really it makes things kinda of awkward and laughable. Any pointers you have for me on this readers, please let me know. Comment here or maybe even send some pointers to me at my new email address: Pointclickdate@gmail.com! Or you can tweet at me @pointclickdate :)

I noticed how terrible my offering to paying the bill act was on Sunday when I went out on a date with The Actor! It was actually a pretty great date. I was surprised. I mean the only person I ever really wanted to see again from the site was The Animator but he was still kind of awkward. And all the guys I've met through OKCupid have been ambiguously gay or awkward/shy or not tall enough or sometimes a combination of three. It was definitely surprising to meet The Actor and have him be the most normal guy I met on OkCupid. I mean an Actor being normal?! Now THAT'S CRAZY. So yeah, I had a really great time on the date and I thought he did too but alas, it's day three and no phone call OR text message. Although, maybe all artist types have a 10 day rule. Or maybe they have no rule at all they just call/text/email/facebook/okcupid message whenever they want. I sound bitter, so I'm going to stop.

Anyway, the only thing wrong with The Actor was his hair. It was a little 80s for me and bordering on jew-fro. It actually reminded me a bit of Duckie's from Pretty in Pink. That makes him sound like he was not attractive at all but he was, just the hair needs some help. To remind you of Duckie's hair AND the 80s please view VIDEO CLIP TIME NUMBER TWO!!!

2011: The Year of No Expectations

It's finally 2011! And I'm not usually the one to make resolutions but as I look back at 2010, I realize some things definitely need to change in 2011. I realized that in the past and especially in 2010 I have set my expectations so high over and over.  I think throughout the year, especially when it came to guys, I have gotten overeager, overexcited and then not surprisingly, I have been often overly disappointed. This idea all came about when I was on a date - yes a date!! On Tuesday, I went out with a new OkCupid find. I mentioned The Nonprofiteer in the last entry but after meeting him I believe Sideways Guy is much more fitting.

Why Sideways? Well, apparently no one informed him that wearing his hat with the bill to the side hasn't been cool since the 90s. I shouldn't have been surprised by this because his photos on OkCupid displayed this sideways style but I thought he might hold off before showcasing this until the 2nd date. If only for the reason that seeing him in person with his sideways hat made me think of.... VIDEO CLIP TIME!




At least this made me laugh and I also thought, "He's confident enough to look silly and really owns his style - good for him!"


Going back to expectations. I set them extremely high for this date with Sideways. Over the internet things looked promising. He was really good looking, we had the same taste in movies, his messages were thoughtful and he seemed like a fun guy! I was really excited to get back in the game of dating and to be put in with what I thought was going to be an all-star. When he opened his mouth to talk, however, disappointment barged in and became a third wheel on our date. Sideways Guy was tall, dark (haired) and handsome with a voice of a tiny, little, slightly feminine mouse. I could barely hear him and it got real annoying, real fast. I tried to bear with it but I think I ended up talking too much so that I didn't have to keep saying what?! WHAT?? I'm not surprised he hasn't called yet, I didn't let him get a word in!

I'm not sure why I set high expectations but I do. Remember how excited I was about The Musician at the very beginning? Major let down. The Renaissance Man? Disappointed by his height. I even had some hopeful expectations for The Musician the second time around and The Ex the millionth time around. And one would think to lower my expectations but I feel that's real negative so I've decided:

2011 is the YEAR OF NO EXPECTATIONS!!!

And so far, I think it's worked out for me. For example, last night I went to Tavern on the Water for New Years Eve. I was invited by my friend Liz and of course took Kaitlin and her boyfriend, Caleb. I went dateless and only knew Kaitlin, Caleb, Liz and her boyfriend Slater. The old me would have set high expectations for the night. And ultimately, the need to meet some new cute boy to kiss at midnight would have ruined my night. The NEW and IMPROVED me had no expectations of how the night would turn out. I just went hoping to have fun with some friends. And I did have fun, I did end up with a midnight kiss and I did end up with a boy in my bed on New Years Day. I didn't expect it and I wasn't disappointed. And if this guy calls me great but again, I'm not expecting anything. I'll take the good and the bad as it comes but to expect the best or even the worst is just setting myself up for disaster.

Cheers to the year of no expectations and whatever it may bring!! Happy New Year! And to help you celebrate please enjoy another great VIDEO CLIP TIME!