It's not you, it's me. Well, maybe it's you...

After realizing how awesome I am at dating, I decided to get back out there! I went on a date on Thursday, and oh man, it was a doozy! And since it was just Groundhog's Day last week - VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Groundhog Day might be my favorite movie - ever. I should update my OkCupid profile.

Alright back to my date. We hadn't talked that much over messages but I did learn he was a "beer snob." His words, not mine - in retrospect, this was a sign for things to come. Since he was a "beer snob" and he asked if I wanted to meet somewhere near where I lived, I picked Lord Hobo. Lord Hobo is definitely a place I thought worthy of a beer snob. Also, I REALLY like Lord Hobo and the last time I was here I went with The Hipster (click here to watch that wonderful Hipster video clip). That date with The Hipster was so bad, I decided I would try the same date location again. And the date was GREAT but....

But my date, The Promo Guy, well I'm 95% sure he's not straight and he's very much in denial about it. Even I tried to be in denial about it for the first 5 minutes.

The first sign was he was really flamboyant. I mean really. He did just spend two years in LA and I've heard guys are more feminine out there, but it was a little more intense then just feminine.

And I know I have said a few different times that the guys I met from OkCupid and went on dates with gave off a gay vibe but this, this was different. I didn't really think the other guys were gay, I was just turned off by gay vibe they gave off. I really believe Promo Guy is gay. And the biggest sign that made me believe this was  kept reminding me how much he liked girls. For example, we were talking about scary movies and how there is always an unnecessary naked girl scene and quickly, he says, "Well, you know, I like it, because I'm a guy." And he said something similar to this about five different times on five different topics. It drove me crazy but as the date went on and he turned out to be real great guy, I just felt more and more bad for him.

Although, within the first five minutes of our date, I was kind of pissed. I was like great, I have to sit here with this guy who's clearly in the closet and pretend we're having a really great time. Therefore, I tried to make excuses. As he continued to plead with me he was straight I finally switched the way I looked at the night. In my head I turned the switch from "potential date or guy to be interested in" to "potential gay best friend" and then the date went great. He was an AWESOME gay best friend. He laughed at all my jokes, we talked about how hard it was to eat healthy - he once ate 5 Little Debbie cupcakes in one day but how could he not eat them, they were free! He works on promotional tours which are the people you see on your city streets giving shit out for free. He's a step above those people that give you shit for free, he's hires and manages those people. Hence why he had so many Little Debbies at his disposal.

So yeah, we had a great time but if he's going to keep on pretending he's straight he's barking up the wrong tree. Love my gay guys, but not that much.

As we parted ways, I swear he sent out jazz hands in order to bring me in for a hug. I laughed, hugged him and walked away, thinking I'd never see him again. You see though, when he when he texted me  the next day to tell me how much fun he had and that he wanted to hang out again soon, I was torn. We had a blast and I do want to hang out with him again but I don't want to feed his denial or lead him on. I asked a few friends and  they all were torn too. Eventually, I gave in and said yes, we could hang out again. For the inner psychoanalysis in me, I need to get to the source of why he can't come out. He grew up in Massachusetts, went to Emerson College for production, moved to LA - all of these places very gay friendly places. He's also 25 years old and it's 2011! To be fair, however, I'm not sure he knows its 2011 either because....

And this was probably the worst part of my date. He had...


AN EARRING!!! A tiny hoop!!! Really?!?!! What guy has had a tiny hoop earring since the 90s?! Guess that could be his argument for not being gay- his total lack of fashion sense! I really couldn't stop starring at it. It was so hideous and reminded me of Vanilla Ice or the New Kids on the Block. And yes, I love the 90s, but there are some things that happened in the 90s that should stay in the 90s. Number one thing that happened in the 90s that should stay in the 90s: WHITE GUYS WITH HOOP EARRINGS. Really, it was terrible then and it's even worse today.









Of course, I can't mention New Kids on the Block without posting (another) VIDEO CLIP TIME: