About two weeks ago I got a message from this guy on OKCupid. And his message started off kind of similar to most messages: I liked you profile, how long have you been in Boston - and then as if he caught himself mid-type he wrote: "You know, I'm going down the path that a zillion guys have probably gone down already. I don't want to be like them." And then he asked me what question have I not been asked but really want to be asked and stated that was the question he would ask. It was kind of charming so I did my usual thing. Checked his profile out. His pictures showed this Tom Brady look alike and his profile - well it is absolutely ridiculous. Ridiculous meaning, there is no way that this guy is serious. It talks about how he thinks the most intimate thing a woman and man could do was cook in the kitchen together. It says things like he wants to find a person he can do romantic things with on a regular basis and I just have to quote this: "Have you ever seen that couple staring into each other's eyes, knowing very well they wouldn't change a thing about where they are, or who they're with? Ya. I want that." Yup. Unbelievable. Kind of like these guys in VIDEO CLIP TIME:
So even though I didn't buy for a second that this Tom Brady look-alike, manly but gorgeous guy actually is sensitive, caring and romantic and was convinced his whole profile is a set up, a trap to lure girls in and he's actually a huge dick- despite all this, I message him back. I decide, however, to cut to the chase. I say something along the lines of: "If you really want to be different just ask me out, why do we have to do this back and forth on here when it's so much more fun to do it in person." He asks if I'd like to go out sometime, I say yes and then he does not reply back until 12 days later. When he finally does reply he writes as if no time has gone by and asks if I'm available over the weekend. And we make plans for a day date, which was yesterday.
How was it? It would be an understatement to say it went well. It was great. We had fun and it was a real, legitimate date. Not just drinks at some stupid bar. We met at Park Street and I almost didn't know what to do when I saw him. He was way better looking than his pictures and I felt like I was way out of my league. But he was super nice and right off the bat starting asking me questions about myself. We went to Starbucks and got coffee and then we headed to lunch. Now this part was hard. I didn't know where we were going for lunch and as we walked he said I was thinking Fajitas and 'Ritas and my heart sank - this happens to be where The Ex took me on our first date and the only times I've been there since have been with The Ex. But what was I suppose to say? No, I can't go there! That would have been totally awkward So, I quickly made a mental list of the reasons why this was completely different. We went to Starbucks first, it was the day and when I went with The Ex it was night, we sat in an entirely different place in the restaurant, I ordered steak fajitas instead of shrimp, we ordered separately instead of ordering fajitas for two, we were getting dessert afterward, and so on and so on.
Thanks to the list instead of having a meltdown I had a great time. He was not shy on the questions. I think the first question before our entrees came out was "What are you looking for?" I almost choked on my tortilla chip. Who asks that? And they kept coming He asked me if I had been in love, if I lived with a guy. And then he asked. "When was your last relationship?"
I stumbled through this answer. It went something like, "Um. Recently. Um. Well, I mean about 6 months ago. We broke up in, um, August. Yeah. August. You know, when I started going on the site. Um yeah." And then he either asked me another question or I changed the subject to be honest I think I almost fainted. But thankfully, we didn't dwell on this. I wasn't lying, The Ex and I broke up 6 months ago. I was just omitting the fact that about 2 weeks ago we slept together and about 1 week ago I booked tickets to go to Florida to visit him for 10 days in March....(no comment)
Anyway, the rest of the date was pretty wonderful. We finished lunch and walked through the park. We put our leftovers in his truck (a man with a truck is sexy, it just is) and then we walked to this little cafe on Newbury Street that somehow I never knew was there called L'Aroma Cafe & Bakery. We sat talked about astrology over dessert. And then after dessert we walked back through the Public Garden and the Commons, past his car so he could walk me to the train. And before he left he got in a few compliments that made me melt and told me he'd really like to see me again.
And as I walked down the steps at the Park Street station I thought, "Holy Shit, could this guy really be for real?" Because it really did seem like he was a sexy, manly but sensitive, caring, funny gentleman. On the first date, I literally found no flaws. None. I mean he seemed honest and open, blunt and to the point without being to overbearing, he opened doors for me, laughed at my jokes, said he was extremely close with this older sister, has a GODDAMN BLACK LAB PUPPY NAMED LILY. I could call this guy Mr. Perfect but instead I've decided to go with "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-THE-CATCH" guy? Or WTFiTC Guy.
So yea... amazing guy, amazing date. I wasn't ready for it. I also wasn't ready for this feeling: GUILT. I couldn't help but feel guilty. For TWO major reasons: 1. This blog. 2. The Ex. I haven't lied, yet, but I haven't told the truth about either of these things which I think are major things to know. But when do I stop omitting the truth? I mean I think it was okay to leave these things out on the first date. I wasn't sure how I felt about him and I didn't want him to have a first impression be the wrong impression. This blog and The Ex are a part of my life but it's not what defines me or my life. But still, I'm plagued by the question: Is omission really lying? I never had this problem with the 11 other people I met on online. I didn't really care if I was lying or not. And I know it was only one date but the guy brought his A game on his profile and then brought his A+ game on the date. So even if WTFiTC Guy happens to have a CRAZY catch that is a total deal breaker, I'm hooked for now and with a second date already lined up I'm nervous. Do I need to drop my catch or catches, as the case may be, on the second date?
I'm not afraid to tell him about the blog. I think if he's cool, he'll think it's funny and not be angry. Besides it's not like I go out with every single person that messages me. I don't date for the blog, I just happen to blog about my dating. Plus, it's kind of hard to get mad when I'm writing about how seemingly perfect he is, although he has to be okay with not reading it - at least for now. As for the The Ex part. That's a slippery slope that I can't help but think will end in a terrible crash landing. Why did WTFiTC Guy decide to show up AFTER I bought a $500 plane ticket for a 10 day vacation in Florida with The Ex- WTF, WTFiTC Guy?!? FML. -Sorry I just couldn't help that.
I feel really torn do I reveal the truth or keep on avoiding it? My gut says say something and if he's really as perfect as he seems to be he'll understand. So, I have 4 days to find the confidence to think I'm still a catch despite my catch(es) I haven't told him about. I'm just hoping he tells me what the catch with him is first.
To be continued.... in the mean time, an 80s song about lies - this video is incredible so please enjoy VIDEO CLIP TIME 2!!:
So even though I didn't buy for a second that this Tom Brady look-alike, manly but gorgeous guy actually is sensitive, caring and romantic and was convinced his whole profile is a set up, a trap to lure girls in and he's actually a huge dick- despite all this, I message him back. I decide, however, to cut to the chase. I say something along the lines of: "If you really want to be different just ask me out, why do we have to do this back and forth on here when it's so much more fun to do it in person." He asks if I'd like to go out sometime, I say yes and then he does not reply back until 12 days later. When he finally does reply he writes as if no time has gone by and asks if I'm available over the weekend. And we make plans for a day date, which was yesterday.
How was it? It would be an understatement to say it went well. It was great. We had fun and it was a real, legitimate date. Not just drinks at some stupid bar. We met at Park Street and I almost didn't know what to do when I saw him. He was way better looking than his pictures and I felt like I was way out of my league. But he was super nice and right off the bat starting asking me questions about myself. We went to Starbucks and got coffee and then we headed to lunch. Now this part was hard. I didn't know where we were going for lunch and as we walked he said I was thinking Fajitas and 'Ritas and my heart sank - this happens to be where The Ex took me on our first date and the only times I've been there since have been with The Ex. But what was I suppose to say? No, I can't go there! That would have been totally awkward So, I quickly made a mental list of the reasons why this was completely different. We went to Starbucks first, it was the day and when I went with The Ex it was night, we sat in an entirely different place in the restaurant, I ordered steak fajitas instead of shrimp, we ordered separately instead of ordering fajitas for two, we were getting dessert afterward, and so on and so on.
Thanks to the list instead of having a meltdown I had a great time. He was not shy on the questions. I think the first question before our entrees came out was "What are you looking for?" I almost choked on my tortilla chip. Who asks that? And they kept coming He asked me if I had been in love, if I lived with a guy. And then he asked. "When was your last relationship?"
I stumbled through this answer. It went something like, "Um. Recently. Um. Well, I mean about 6 months ago. We broke up in, um, August. Yeah. August. You know, when I started going on the site. Um yeah." And then he either asked me another question or I changed the subject to be honest I think I almost fainted. But thankfully, we didn't dwell on this. I wasn't lying, The Ex and I broke up 6 months ago. I was just omitting the fact that about 2 weeks ago we slept together and about 1 week ago I booked tickets to go to Florida to visit him for 10 days in March....(no comment)
Anyway, the rest of the date was pretty wonderful. We finished lunch and walked through the park. We put our leftovers in his truck (a man with a truck is sexy, it just is) and then we walked to this little cafe on Newbury Street that somehow I never knew was there called L'Aroma Cafe & Bakery. We sat talked about astrology over dessert. And then after dessert we walked back through the Public Garden and the Commons, past his car so he could walk me to the train. And before he left he got in a few compliments that made me melt and told me he'd really like to see me again.
And as I walked down the steps at the Park Street station I thought, "Holy Shit, could this guy really be for real?" Because it really did seem like he was a sexy, manly but sensitive, caring, funny gentleman. On the first date, I literally found no flaws. None. I mean he seemed honest and open, blunt and to the point without being to overbearing, he opened doors for me, laughed at my jokes, said he was extremely close with this older sister, has a GODDAMN BLACK LAB PUPPY NAMED LILY. I could call this guy Mr. Perfect but instead I've decided to go with "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-THE-CATCH" guy? Or WTFiTC Guy.
So yea... amazing guy, amazing date. I wasn't ready for it. I also wasn't ready for this feeling: GUILT. I couldn't help but feel guilty. For TWO major reasons: 1. This blog. 2. The Ex. I haven't lied, yet, but I haven't told the truth about either of these things which I think are major things to know. But when do I stop omitting the truth? I mean I think it was okay to leave these things out on the first date. I wasn't sure how I felt about him and I didn't want him to have a first impression be the wrong impression. This blog and The Ex are a part of my life but it's not what defines me or my life. But still, I'm plagued by the question: Is omission really lying? I never had this problem with the 11 other people I met on online. I didn't really care if I was lying or not. And I know it was only one date but the guy brought his A game on his profile and then brought his A+ game on the date. So even if WTFiTC Guy happens to have a CRAZY catch that is a total deal breaker, I'm hooked for now and with a second date already lined up I'm nervous. Do I need to drop my catch or catches, as the case may be, on the second date?
I'm not afraid to tell him about the blog. I think if he's cool, he'll think it's funny and not be angry. Besides it's not like I go out with every single person that messages me. I don't date for the blog, I just happen to blog about my dating. Plus, it's kind of hard to get mad when I'm writing about how seemingly perfect he is, although he has to be okay with not reading it - at least for now. As for the The Ex part. That's a slippery slope that I can't help but think will end in a terrible crash landing. Why did WTFiTC Guy decide to show up AFTER I bought a $500 plane ticket for a 10 day vacation in Florida with The Ex- WTF, WTFiTC Guy?!? FML. -Sorry I just couldn't help that.
I feel really torn do I reveal the truth or keep on avoiding it? My gut says say something and if he's really as perfect as he seems to be he'll understand. So, I have 4 days to find the confidence to think I'm still a catch despite my catch(es) I haven't told him about. I'm just hoping he tells me what the catch with him is first.
To be continued.... in the mean time, an 80s song about lies - this video is incredible so please enjoy VIDEO CLIP TIME 2!!:
don't tell that fool shit. not yet! do your thang, girl
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