He picked me up and brought me back to his place. And since I was drunk, he decided he should be too. And we watched Modern Family, I cried laughing because how funny is that show?! Anyway, this sleepover was much more interesting than the last time. THANK GOD.
So, that was last Wednesday and it’s been a week and one day. The only communication we’ve had is through facebook. And it mostly consisted of him telling me that he wasn’t sure if he could go to the Revolution game I had invited him to on Saturday and then officially telling me he couldn’t go. Even though I told him a week an a half ago and he agreed to go. His excuse was musically related but the fact that he hasn’t called to hang out or schedule anything at all makes him very, very lame.
Now, you’re probably all thinking, oh no, he’s totally blowing her off and I bet she’s super upset because she was falling for him and oooh, how terrible. Well, I was disappointed a week ago when he was clearly blowing me off, a week before The Ex and I started having amazing sex. I’m not saying I didn’t think The Musician was really cool and someone I could really like, but let’s face it, he was my rebound. I didn’t want him to be! I don’t want him to be! But, he is or WAS.
I had an interesting night out on Saturday with The Ex, by the way. We drank too many margaritas (please don't call AA, I know a lot of this blog revolves around alcohol and drunkenness but really I'm okay) and danced our heart away at The Donkey Show. Before dancing though, I thought it would be a good idea to have the awkward “who have you slept with?” conversation. GOOD NEWS: We’re one for one. BAD NEWS: He slept with someone! Jerk. GOOD NEWS: It was only once (I win!) But upon, having this conversation I was outraged, I was hurt, I was jealous! Then I thought about if The Musician slept with someone else. I felt nothing, I felt like man, maybe I should have this conversation with him so I find out he IS sleeping with someone else and be like good go be her problem.
And this is where I write The Musician out of my blog (get the title now, theatre geeks?).
At the very beginning of all this I told you that Elizabeth Gilbert was going to be my guide through this and really I’ve mentioned Carrie Bradshaw way more. But, this is because Elizabeth Gilbert is way cooler than Carrie Bradshaw and I will ever be. I mean she went on an epic trip to Eat. PRAY and LOVE! I haven’t found too many similarities that I can really incorporate into this blog, until now. For those who haven’t read Ms. Gilbert’s book she goes to India to PRAY. I mean really pray. She’s literally mediating for hours on end every day. And one morning, all she can think about in her mediation is her ex-husband AND her ex-boyfriend (the guy after her husband AKA REBOUND). And she’s embarrassed – I’ll quote her “I mean- here I am in this sacred place of study in the middle of India, and all I can think about is my ex-boyfriend? What am I, in eighth grade?” Not only do I think this exact thought – the eighth grade part, because I have this odd boy crazed part of me, but yesterday in yoga, I went through the same thing. Usually yoga really gets me out of my head and into my body and that’s why I love it. But this yoga session, man all I could think about was The Ex and The Musician. But then, something wonderful happened to me. And Elizabeth Gilbert goes through epiphanies in the book too, and I haven’t gotten that far in it because I started a graduate class, which requires a million of pages of reading per week so I don’t know if she makes an epiphany about her ex and her rebound but…. here is my epiphany:
The Musician is a DOUCHEBAG. I’m not sure if it’s intentional or not but he’s a DOUCHEBAG. Not only because he blatantly ignored my date request or only has really called me once in the month we've been "hanging out" and has left the making plans entirely up to me but I’ve also noticed he’s a shitty friend and is just overall wasted talent and potential. I call him a shitty friend because I met him through my friend Kaitlin, who met him though her best guy friend, Scott. Now Scott is one of the most amazing people you will ever meet. He’s completely and utterly awkward, but he’s genuine, thoughtful and I’ve decided we need to be really good friends as well. Anyway, to be mean to Scott would be like being mean to your Grandpa – inappropriate and really weird. However, The Musician is mean to him, like straight up bully mean. Kaitlin and I had a long talk about this and decided it was because The Musician is totally jealous. Scott’s got his head on straight and is going down a great path to success. The Musician, on the other hand, smart, good-looking, extremely talented musician and composer, has no real path. He’s working part time at Bay Sate College so he can “focus” on his music the other 4 days of the week but he’s not really doing that all. He’s also working on super esoteric work that’s super specific and I'm not sure how he ever really expects to make a career out of that, nor does he. He has no plan and from my observation no work ethic. Therefore, his intelligence, good looks and musical talent are such a waste. WHAT A SHAME. I care, but not too much, because like I said before: He’s a DOUCHEBAG.
The other part of my epiphany is funny and heart wrenching all at the same time. Here goes: I truly and honestly believe that The Ex and I will ultimately end up together. I’m not saying we’ll get married, I mean maybe, but not necessarily. In fact, I could see myself having a really wonderful and happy marriage – children even - with someone else! And we could be happy for many years, but then at some point for better or worse, my husband and I will part ways and I will end up with The Ex. And maybe this is ridiculous and I’ll look back at this at the end of my life and laugh at how silly I was. But, I don’t know, during this crazy yoga session, I started to stress about him and the minor detail that I forgot to mention that he’s probably not going to California anymore. And then I heard myself say, “Katie, relax. Stop trying to control everything and just let go (FIGHT CLUB reference, my psyche is awesome – VIDEO CLIP TIME BELOW) be with him, don’t be with him, it doesn’t matter, in the end, when it's right, you’ll be with him, don't worry." And I’m not going to get into all the details of why I really believe this but I do. And whether it’s true or not, happens or doesn’t, for now it gives me some comfort.
VIDEO CLIP, as promised:
"Just Let Go" from Rock Sexton on Vimeo.
So thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for giving me permission to think about boys during yoga!! And another special thanks to you, Musician, for being a character in the blog but your douchery has over stayed it’s welcomed, and it’s time for you to exit stage left in order for someone else to enter stage right…
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