For the title of this I was inspired by Beastie Boys "Girls" just listen to this song and every time they say "girls" input "boys" and that's where I am with this blog.
It all started at 2:30am on the last Saturday in August. I had no idea when my phone rang in the middle of the night that I’d end up with three different guys at four different points throughout the day, but that’s exactly what happened.
To be honest, on Friday I thought it would only be two. I was having one of those Friday afternoons in which time literally felt stuck. Real work wasn’t passing the time so against my better judgment, I went on OKCupid. This also made me feel that maybe online dating is more than just trying to find a date, maybe it’s just down right addicting. I mean how many of us check Facebook a million times a day for no reason? This is just another site to check out, to cease boredom in and out of the office place.
Anyway, back to me inappropriately being on OKCupid at work. Well I signed in, checked it out and realized I had a phone call! Yikes! I ran to make the phone call, did not sign out of OKCupid and forgot about it. Mid-conversation, and I kid you not, I burst out laughing. Why, you ask? Am I crazy? Well, the woman on the other end of the phone certainty thought so but no, a message came up on the screen from The Musician, “Well, this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone on this site that I knew.” Oh, the irony. We talked, I told him how I thought it was like the pina colada song, we laughed, we chatted, he yelled at me for not responding quick enough as he thought I was talking to other people but in fact, I was just doing my job and then all of a sudden he wanted to meet up with me for a drink after he gets out of a show around midnight. He couldn’t ask me out before but now that I’m on OKCupid all of a sudden he’s free?? I thought it was sort of bullshit. And then I said, “Sure, sounds good, I’ll most likely be up because I think I have insomnia (seriously I do). I might even be out, call me when you get out of the show.” Ugh… I’m such a pushover. Meanwhile, The Scientist is texting me to make plans for Saturday.
Early Bird Special
Flash forward to 12:30am. No phone call, no text message, no telegram, no messenger pigeon from The Musician. Angry, outraged and determined to once and for all be over The Musician, I went to bed. And I’m actually sleeping which is an anomaly for me these days, when my phone rings at 2:30am. Now, I have this weird thing when my phone rings. It doesn’t matter what time it is, how fast asleep I am, I will pick up the phone and sound like I’ve been awake for hours waiting for this call. After I say “hello,” however, I’m completely confused and incoherent. And this is our conversation:
“Are you awake?” The Musician asks.
“No!!” I grumpily reply back.
“Did I overestimate how late your insomnia would keep you up?” The Musician asks sheepishly.
“Yea.” I say curtly, waking up slowly and remembering my anger I had pre-sleep.
“Oh, sorry, I’ll let you go back to bed.” The Musician says defeated.
“Yeah, OKAY.” I say mad. And then we hang up and I stare at the phone like it’s evil. And then I realize there is no way I’m going back to bed. I call him back. No answer. Ugh, whatever, I think. My phone rings.
“You called?” The Musician asks hopefully.
“Well, NOW I’m up.” I say slightly flirting, slightly pissed off, slightly still asleep.
“Does that mean you want me to come over?”
“I guess” I pretend to say as if it’s a burden for him to come over.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
And then next thing I know he’s in my bedroom, drunk, talking for 15 minutes straight about some crazy dude he was with all night, sort of a apologizing for not calling on time and just being drunk. With anyone else, I’d be really mad. I didn’t realize how drunk he was on the phone, but damn it, I find him so good looking that I’m having a hard time keeping my hands to myself…
In the morning, or rather a very few hours of sleep later, he’s being all touchy and cuddly in his hung over state. It’s too much really, but I am loving every second of if. Then he has to go and I realize shit, I have to go. So we part, but I tell him he has to take me on a proper date because I don’t want him to get the wrong idea and I laugh, knowing, it’s way too late for that.
The Musician leaves and then I run and get ready for boy number 2.
Lunch: A First Date with The Scientist
It’s a lunch date in the North End. I'm kind of nervous considering this is the first person I have ever met online that I've actually said yes to meeting in person. Luckily, it's day out and we're in a public place. Not a great scene for a murder, I think. We meet at Haymarket. I’m 10 minutes late, because I’m always 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late, never on time. I look around as I get to Haymarket, and I try to look for a guy who looks like the pictures I saw online. And then he spots me – thank God I have red hair, it makes this whole let’s meet a stranger thing real easy, I’m usally the only one in sight with bright red hair. We hug, like we know each other and walk to the restaurant. I’m not sure if I’m exhausted, already bored or just distracted by thoughts of The Musician in my bed that morning but before the date even really starts I just want to go home. I know this is unfair so I try and shake my head clear and give him a fair chance.
Lunch is awkward. Mostly because I order a giant plate of chicken, broccoli and zita and pretty much demolish the entire plate. I’m not sure if he was impressed or mortified. We keep up pretty good conversation and after lunch, we walk around in the nice summer weather. I tell him about how I was hit by a car, he tells me about how his front teeth were knocked out from a stupid bicycle accident (and then I feel bad that I was disgusted by his gums which look eternally bruised). We share a lot of useless information and I can tell he’s not ready to end this date so we walk and walk and then when he asks if I want to get a drink, I say yes, even though I still want to go home. He really is a nice guy. We have a drink at a bar and talk some more. And I can tell he’s really into me so I realize it’s really time to go home. We walk back to the T station, he tells me how good a time he had and I neither agree or disagree and proceed to walk home to Cambridge from Haymarket, a good 20-minute walk.
Rating this date on a scale from 1-10 (1 being the worst date I’ve ever been on and 10 being the best), I’d give this date a 5. I’d consider going on a date with him again. I’d probably never consider making out with him.
I get home and as I go to take a nap before my night out, who texts me? The Scientist telling me how great a time he had and that we should hang out soon. Too soon Scientist, too soon. And for all the men out there who probably are NOT reading this, I’m going to give you a piece of advice.
THE RULE OF THREE
If you aren’t sure when to call a girl after you get her number or go on a first date, use the rule of three. Three days is always a good amount of time. One day, let alone one hour, says: “I’m too into you,” immediately putting a girl off. Four or more days says, “I’m just not that into you, even at all.” Three says, “I’m a normal but busy guy. I am definitely interested in you but I also have a life.” Three days is really the perfect amount of time. Two days is only acceptable if you actually think the girl is your soul mate and you don’t want her to slip away. If you aren’t sure, go with three!!
Evening
For my evening, I had a girls night out planned. I was going out with my roommate, her sister and friend. We went to a couple of bars in the Faneuil Hall area because those bars are ridiculous and I can only tolerate them every so often. I can especially tolerate them if I am newly single as I know I’m bound to get hit on and that’s just what you need when you are newly single. My roommate, Erika, her friend Erin and I end up at Sissy K’s (Erika’s sister, engaged and a little bit older is done with these bars a little earlier). At Sissy K’s we proceed to dance our hearts out and get very, very drunk.
While doing this, I get a message from The Musician about how tired he is and I ask him if that means I get to be drunk and wake HIM up at in the middle of the night. Of course, he doesn’t object. I’m then extremely excited and proceed to dance and drink more.
Unexpectedly, I meet a typical Boston guy, who I think is pretty attractive and definitely a lot of fun. But, he’s the typical Boston guy with the accent and is cute but in a meathead kind of way, so I’m judging him a bit, which is mean. We get to talking though and I find out he’s going to Suffolk Law – say what? This guy is going to be a lawyer? I ask him where he went to undergrad – Tufts University. Holy Shit, I think, this kid is smart. And this is why, boys and girls, we should never judge books by their covers. Anyway, we have a really fun time, he asks for my number and tells me he wants to take me to dinner. And despite the fact that he tried to make out with me in the bar before I left (I screamed at him I DON’T DO THAT IN BARS!!! That’s right ladies, you’re never too drunk to know that making out in bars is just not classy), I will go out with him if he calls.
The After Party
And as I left the bar, it was time to bug The Musician as promised. Now, I’m not proud of the next thing I am going to tell you all but it’s something that I must share. I was looking for a cab, drunk – way drunker than anticipated, by myself, in heels. As all the bars were letting out and everyone was going home, a cab wasn’t an easy thing to get. After 20 minutes of searching, I wasn’t sure what to do. It wasn’t even that I couldn’t get to The Musician’s apartment, I couldn’t’ even get to mine. What was I going to do??? Right when I was about to cry like a really bad drunk girl, a pickup truck pulls over. A middle aged Italian man asks in a Boston accent: “Do you need a ride?” Well, yes I thought. I do. But then all the alarms went off in my head – BAD IDEA, KATIE. THIS SCREAMS LAW & ORDER SVU EPISODE. YOU ARE GOING TO GET RAPED AND KILLED IF YOU GET IN THIS CAR.
And then I get in his car, text The Musician if I’m not there in 5 minutes, I’m dead and to call the police. And the guy, who I find out is named Nick, is just a really nice guy and drives me to my destination. He only asks for a cigarette but I don’t have one and we shake hands. And I get out and THANK GOD that I’m alive. I will never hitchhike ever again, however, I can take it off my bucket list, because really who hasn’t wanted to hitchhike at least once in their lives!
I wake The Musician up, say things, I probably shouldn’t say, do things I probably shouldn’t do, and wake up terribly hung over. And somehow, my hangover doesn’t prevent me from sleeping with The Musician. And then afterwards, he plays the piano and it’s amazing. And I feel myself melting and that’s when I know I’m in way over my head.
So, the only way I can come up with to cope with this all is to add more guys to the equation. I need to message more guys on OKCupid and I need to go on dates with other people pronto before I really end up falling for The Musician. I should also probably invest in another hobby that isn’t going on dates with guys, but I’ll take one day at a time.
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