Bad Life Decisions

Last entry, I introduced the phrase “bad life decision.” Well, this seems to be the phase I’m going through in my life right now. You might have noticed this already, however, like when I let The Musician come over in the middle of the night or when I not only went over to the The Musician’s in the middle of the night but I HITCHHIKED. Yea. I’m not making good life decisions, but I can say that I'm having a hell of a lot of fun. And as my wise friend Kaitlin told me “if you never make a bad decision you're super boring, and no one wants to be boring! So here's to being interesting!” Cheers, Kaitlin, Cheers.

So, I ended with the last entry with a “teaser.” Drunk at 11:00pm, I thought it was a good idea to call The Ex-Boyfriend. Well, he didn’t pick up, PHEW.

Of course, that’s not where the story ends. He calls me the next night while I’m in the movies. He’s been in California, interviewing for jobs. I get the voicemail after I get out of the movie and THANK GOD I was with Kaitlin. If I had been on a date, this would have been super awkward. I listen to the message and he tells me he got a job and is moving to California. And all of a sudden, I’m not okay. And then, I’m crying. And then, I need wine. I don’t know what came over me but I couldn’t handle the idea of him being across the country. I talked to my friend, Liz, the next day and she made sense of it for me. There is a comfort in having him nearby – even if I never hang out with him, I can if I want! Having him in California, I can’t see him on a whim. Also, it finalizes the breakup. When he leaves, it’s over, for good. It slams the last 2.5 years of my life shut.

We played a great game of phone tag and then the next day after I was full of brunch and mimosas, he calls me. We catch up. I tell him how my class went (I’m taking a class! I thought it would help with my boy obsession – it’s not helping, at least not yet but I’ve only had 2 classes) and he told me about his job. And we made plans to hang out later in the week when he was back.

About a half hour later, he calls me back asking for an odd request. My heart sinks into my stomach and I have no idea what he is going to ask. He asks if he can stay over sometime in the week. I immediately don’t know what to say. Something inside me is like OF COURSE but the rational part is like FUCK YOU. I tell him I have to think about it and for him to call me when he gets back.

He took this very literally. He called me at 7:45am when he landed. And he asks me not only if he can sleepover that night but the entire week. And when he asks again, if he can sleepover that at least tonight, one night, I say: I guess. Because that’s what I say when I mean yes but know that I should say no….

And he does sleep over that night, which is Monday. And he sleeps over Tuesday and Thursday. And all I am going to say about it is: Why the hell is post-breakup sex SO amazing? Yeah. So, I had a pretty good Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

And the only way I can explain my bad life decision is really lame –especially because this will be my SECOND Sex & the City reference – but here I go:

My whole relationship with The Ex-Boy Friend has been breaking up and then coming back together. And all I can compare it to is…. Get ready here is the lameness that is me: Carrie and Big. But, I'm serious. No matter how many times Big is an asshole she ALWAYS goes back to him, and you sit there shouting at the damn TV "ARE YOU AN IDIOT CARRIE BRADSHAW?" And she is, and so am I, but we have the inability to say no to this one guy... Well, in Sex & the City, Big moves to Nappa – VIDEO CLIP TIME:




Anyway, I guess this is the part when The Ex-Boyfriend moves to California. So, maybe this means I'll meet a really old Russian man and fall in love. But, don't worry I don't think I'll move to Paris and have to be rescued by The Ex. That's just silly.

In reality, I know that sleeping with him this last week is just my way of saying goodbye for good. When he leaves for CA, it’s over, it’s done. Besides, it's pretty hard to keep accidentally hooking up and dragging things on when someone is across the country, 3 hours behind you... The Ex-Boyfriend will literally and figuratively be in the past.

That’s if he actually goes. It’s a week later when I’m writing all of this and well he hasn’t gotten the official offer. Sigh.

To back track a bit, the Musician had a party. I acted very awkward because we hadn’t seen each other in 10 days and in the last 4 days I’d been busy or at least getting busy with The Ex. I didn’t even know if he was still interested even though I did get an invite to his party. When my friends were leaving, I straight up asked him: Do you want me to stay? And when he said yes, I stayed. And drank. A LOT. And slept over, and stuff happened, and we got brunch the next day. And he holds my hand and it’s cute.

And then that night I go on a date with The Ex. And I wake up the next morning in a terrible mood. Extremely ready to tell The Ex AND The Musician that I want nothing to do with him. Neither of these relationships are good decisions or going anywhere. What the hell is ht point?? Instead, I ask The Musician to hang out with me. And he comes over,  we hang out and asks if he’s allowed to sleep over (if one more guy asks me to sleep over, I swear). And he sleeps over, however, he doesn’t even attempt to kiss me. Not ONE physical thing happens between the two of us. Leaving me confused, a bit ticked off and did I mention confused. Did he really think I just wanted to hang out and talk? What does he want? I've been drinking wine while writing this entry, should I call him and ask?

Boys, bad life decisions – too bad it’s not lent or that I'm a practicing Catholic, I really need to give both up for AT LEAST 40 days.

Drinks with The Artist

Remember I messaged The Artist? He drew giraffes, I thought he cute, I was being proactive and then he messaged me back? Well, I mentioned him in the 3^rd entry – go back and reread if you don’t remember.

So, all this time while I was having a lot of fun making bad life decisions like hitchhiking, sleeping with The Musician without having a real date(oh yeah it happened again, we haven’t gone an official date yet, this is considered a BAD LIFE DECISION) and getting stalked by The Scientist - through all that - The Artist and I have been messaging back and forth. For a while, I really thought that we would just be OKCupid message pals forever. I mean everyone else on this site was very forward asking for numbers, giving me a number, asking if I wanted to a get a drink in the first message and today, I even got a message asking if I’d be interested in an “adult romp” this weekend. So, sending long messages back and forth with The Artist was definitely different. That being said, he seemed like a nice, decent guy (and hey, his photos aren’t so bad either) so when he finally asked to meet up, I was obviously in!

We decided to meet up in Central Square at 7pm for drinks. I thought this was smart keeping it casual, if I wanted to bail after one drink I totally could have! So, I’m 10 minutes late AGAIN, really I don’t know what my problem is. When I see him for the first time I giggle to myself because he wore a skinny little tie! Super adorable. This time no hug like we know each other because that’s actually weird. He buys me my first drink (so far, so good) and we sit down and chat it up. And he’s nice and kind of cute but man, he’s awkward. No, that’s not fair to say because HE'S trying harder than ME to keep the conversation flowing and moving forward. All I can think he’s a SUPER GEEK. In fact, he reminds me a little of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. For those of you who aren't familiar with this show:

 

And just like Sheldon, even though he’s a super nerd, you like him because he’s quirky and funny. And The Artist isn’t laugh out loud funny but just like in the clip above, he comes out of left field with his topics. For example, we were at an awkward pause in conversation when he says, “So, my sister is dating a Private Eye.” First of all this is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. I want to be a Private Eye! How do you get to become a Private Eye? Do you go to school to become a Private Eye? Apparently, his sister’s boyfriend just showed up at an office and trained to become one. SO COOL. New life goal: Become a Private Eye.

The Artist then goes on to tell me all about his sister. In fact, I think I left knowing more about his sister than him. But seriously, I want to be his sister’s friend, she sounds super cool. She was an amazing dancer and got into an awesome dance program but THEN tragically her legs or knees or her shins or something started to bother her. She rested, thought it would get better but ALAS!! This problem did NOT go away! And now she will never have a career as a dancer! She was left with crushed dreams, an unknown future and aching limbs! But she perseveres! She starts to go to school somewhere else and now has a NEW dream! To be come an archeologist! And now she’s dating a Private I. What a cool chick. Not really sure why The Artist is such a nerd.

He’s such a nerd in fact, that I decide we need to change locations and what better place to go but to the Miracle of Science Bar. With a periodic table in the background, I seem to not care as much about his nerdiness. Or maybe I'm getting a bit tipsy.

And he buys my 3^rd drink and as I finish the last few sip, I realize I'm drunk - not that I can tolerate my alcohol anyway, but to my credit, I had a small salad for dinner and a few pumpernickel pretzels. I'm not just drunk but I'm starving! And I wonder, am I just drunk or does he give off an incredible gay vibe??? Oh brother, it’s not even 11pm, I’m drunk and now he seems a little gay to me. I decide to make a good life decision (you know to switch it up), tell him I’m tired and go home.

On the walk to the train station, he hits me with another random but hilarious fact: If I have a child who is a hemophiliac, I may get a book with his drawings in it. Ooooh Artist, you’re such a quirky, silly nerd with a splash of gay thrown in!

We do the awkward hug, he thanks me for coming out and we part ways. And guess what? THREE DAYS later he messages me. Too bad he gives me a nerdy, gay vibe because the boy at least knows how to play by the rules. But, since he’s playing by the rules, I let him know I’m busy but to call me in a week when things are less hectic. All and all it was okay time and thank God he's not giving the stalker vibe. Really, I'm not sure I can handle another stalker quite yet.

TEASER TIME: On the way home from drinks with The Artist, it’s just now 11:00pm and as I said before I’m drunk. In my intoxicated state, I think, who can I drunk dial. The Musician? You would think that but no, he’s away, so it’s not like calling him would do anything. The Scientist? WRONG. Come on, who drunk dials, let alone calls, a stalker. So, who??? I drunk dial…


THE EX-BOYFRIEND.

Stay tuned…

From Scientist to Stalker in One Too Many Texts

Let’s recap a bit shall we? The Scientist and I went on ONE date and ONE date only. I had a mediocre time but thought maybe I’d give him a second chance. Upon arriving home after our date - meaning within the hour after our date was over – he texts me (TEXT NUMBER ONE) telling me how great a time he had and that we should hang out soon. “Soon” – this is the red flag that I ignored. Now I will give you a play by play of the text messages he sent after this day (The date and the “soon” text message were on a Saturday):

SUNDAY: He behaves himself and doesn’t contact me on Sunday.

MONDAY: I told him I was moving on Monday. Mid-afternoon he sends me TEXT NUMBER TWO, asking me how my move went. Well, since I wasn’t moving that evening, it hasn’t happened yet, I tell him this. Later that evening, TEXT NUMBER THREE, how did the move go?? I ignore it.

TUESDAY: I’m sick, running around buying paint and moving the last piece of furniture into my apartment. TEXT NUMBER FOUR: Are you done moving? Do you want to hang out? I tell him I’m sick, I won’t be done getting my apartment set up until Thursday and then I go away Friday so I’m not sure I’ll be around until the following week. He sends me a text back - TEXT NUMBER FIVE- asking when I’ll be home. Not until Tuesday, I lie.

WEDNESDAY: TEXT NUMBER SIX – asking me how the painting is going. Seriously, Scientist, I’m starting not to be able to breathe.

THURSDAY: TEXT NUMBER SEVEN – asking me how work is. VOICEMAIL at 5:15PM “Hey Katie, What’s up, it’s me (it’s me?? Yes, I know my phone tells me it’s you but I don’t know you well enough for you to say “it’s me – this really bothers me, probably more than it should). I was just wondering what you are up to, seeing if you are still sick and if you’re done moving and everything. I duno. Mumble,mumble. Hope work went well today, give me a call when you get this.” Later that evening, maybe an hour or so later, TEXT NUMBER EIGHT: What’s up? He calls AGAIN around 10pm that I get when I’m out at a gallery show opening with The Musician and my friend Kaitlin. Although it’s rude to The Musician, I shove my phone in Kaitlin’s face and scream STALKER. She laughs – not funny Kaitlin! Ok, yeah, it is pretty funny.

FRIDAY: I’m officially away in Milwaukee. He sends me TEXT NUMBER NINE AND TEN. One is a picture of some fat lady at a concert that everyone is staring in horror at. The other is apologizing; he meant to send that to someone else. YEA maybe if you didn’t text me so much you wouldn’t have by accidently sent this inappropriate photo to me. I don’t text him that, I just ignore him.

SATURDAY – MONDAY: FREEDOM

TUEDAY: 8:15AM TEXT NUMBER ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, those many exclamations points are necessary. If I told him I was coming back from Milwaukee on Tuesday, why the FUCK (Yes, this fuck is necessary) would I be home at 8:15am?? That means my flight would have been at 5:15am. Hello? Common sense anyone? The fact that I actually came in the night before, have the day off and I’m SLEEPING IN, this pisses me off even MORE that he’s texting me at 8:15AM!!! Congratulations, Scientist, you have just been promoted to STALKER. So, the text message says: Hey. Are u back? How was your trip? I wake up to this stupid text message, throw my phone across my room and go back to bed.

10:09 AM: TEXT NUMBER TWELVE: “Ok well I guess you’re ignoring me. I had a good time with you I thought you did too but if you don’t want to see me again that’s fine but that’s a pretty immature way of sending a message.”

All I can say is WOW, get confused why he doesn’t use any punctuation and then copy and paste this into an email to Kaitlin. I want to just ignore him but I have to let him know how much of a crazy person he is. Therefore, 40 minutes later at 10:49am, I respond: “Wow. I’m still away [LIE]. I told you I’d talk to you when I got back. But all your texts are a little much and I think it’d be best if we didn’t hang out again.”

He responds pretty much less than a minute later, TEXT NUMBER THIRTEEN “Hmm sorry I’m just a little insecure… [Really? I hadn’t noticed at all thanks for clearing that up Stalker] all I sent were 3 texts [3? Try 12, 13 if you count this one] but hadn’t heard back in 5 days… ok if u feel that way

And just like that my first OKCupid inspired relationship is over. And you think that’s where it would end right?? Well, this morning (2 weeks after the first date) I log in to OKCupid find a message from The Stalker sent late Friday night (3 days after the thirteenth text)! Seriously, people, I could not make this shit up!

“hey I’m not usually the person who first admits they’re wrong but I’m sorry for acting like such a psycho I don’t blame you for not wanting to see me again after I sent you that crazy text. It’s a long story but my ex left me with some serious trust issues. I shouldn’t have let it get to me and done this to you.”

I’m not sure what my favorite part of this message is. Is it the fact that he admits he was a psycho? Is it the fact he still isn’t using punctuation? Or is it the part where he tells me he has trust issues? I think it may be the trust issues part because what does his trust issues have to do with me? We went on A date, ONE date. UNO. UN. Did he think that meant that we were exclusive? And that we needed to talk every day and that my not responding his every dumb text message was me betraying his trust?!? If so, that’s hilarious.

All I can say, is I’m glad he knows he’s crazy. Unfortunately, I don’t have time for crazy.

And in the morning it’s “BOYS”, cause in the evening it’s “BOYS”

 For the title of this I was inspired by Beastie Boys "Girls" just listen to this song and every time they say "girls" input "boys" and that's where I am with this blog.

It all started at 2:30am on the last Saturday in August. I had no idea when my phone rang in the middle of the night that I’d end up with three different guys at four different points throughout the day, but that’s exactly what happened.

To be honest, on Friday I thought it would only be two. I was having one of those Friday afternoons in which time literally felt stuck. Real work wasn’t passing the time so against my better judgment, I went on OKCupid. This also made me feel that maybe online dating is more than just trying to find a date, maybe it’s just down right addicting. I mean how many of us check Facebook a million times a day for no reason? This is just another site to check out, to cease boredom in and out of the office place.

Anyway, back to me inappropriately being on OKCupid at work. Well I signed in, checked it out and realized I had a phone call! Yikes! I ran to make the phone call, did not sign out of OKCupid and forgot about it. Mid-conversation, and I kid you not, I burst out laughing. Why, you ask? Am I crazy? Well, the woman on the other end of the phone certainty thought so but no, a message came up on the screen from The Musician, “Well, this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone on this site that I knew.”  Oh, the irony. We talked, I told him how I thought it was like the pina colada song, we laughed, we chatted, he yelled at me for not responding quick enough as he thought I was talking to other people but in fact, I was just doing my job and then all of a sudden he wanted to meet up with me for a drink after he gets out of a show around midnight. He couldn’t ask me out before but now that I’m on OKCupid all of a sudden he’s free?? I thought it was sort of bullshit. And then I said, “Sure, sounds good, I’ll most likely be up because I think I have insomnia (seriously I do). I might even be out, call me when you get out of the show.” Ugh… I’m such a pushover. Meanwhile, The Scientist is texting me to make plans for Saturday.

Early Bird Special

Flash forward to 12:30am. No phone call, no text message, no telegram, no messenger pigeon from The Musician. Angry, outraged and determined to once and for all be over The Musician, I went to bed. And I’m actually sleeping which is an anomaly for me these days, when my phone rings at 2:30am. Now, I have this weird thing when my phone rings. It doesn’t matter what time it is, how fast asleep I am, I will pick up the phone and sound like I’ve been awake for hours waiting for this call. After I say “hello,” however, I’m completely confused and incoherent. And this is our conversation:

“Are you awake?” The Musician asks.

“No!!” I grumpily reply back.

“Did I overestimate how late your insomnia would keep you up?” The Musician asks sheepishly.

“Yea.” I say curtly, waking up slowly and remembering my anger I had pre-sleep.

“Oh, sorry, I’ll let you go back to bed.” The Musician says defeated.

“Yeah, OKAY.” I say mad. And then we hang up and I stare at the phone like it’s evil. And then I realize there is no way I’m going back to bed. I call him back. No answer. Ugh, whatever, I think. My phone rings.

“You called?” The Musician asks hopefully.

“Well, NOW I’m up.” I say slightly flirting, slightly pissed off, slightly still asleep.

“Does that mean you want me to come over?”

“I guess” I pretend to say as if it’s a burden for him to come over.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

And then next thing I know he’s in my bedroom, drunk, talking for 15 minutes straight about some crazy dude he was with all night, sort of a apologizing for not calling on time and just being drunk. With anyone else, I’d be really mad. I didn’t realize how drunk he was on the phone, but damn it, I find him so good looking that I’m having a hard time keeping my hands to myself…

In the morning, or rather a very few hours of sleep later, he’s being all touchy and cuddly in his hung over state. It’s too much really, but I am loving every second of if. Then he has to go and I realize shit, I have to go. So we part, but I tell him he has to take me on a proper date because I don’t want him to get the wrong idea and I laugh, knowing, it’s way too late for that.

The Musician leaves and then I run and get ready for boy number 2. 

Lunch: A First Date with The Scientist

It’s a lunch date in the North End.  I'm kind of nervous considering this is the first person I have ever met online that I've actually said yes to meeting in person. Luckily, it's day out and we're in a public place. Not a great scene for a murder, I think. We meet at Haymarket. I’m 10 minutes late, because I’m always 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late, never on time. I look around as I get to Haymarket, and I try to look for a guy who looks like the pictures I saw online. And then he spots me – thank God I have red hair, it makes this whole let’s meet a stranger thing real easy, I’m usally the only one in sight with bright red hair. We hug, like we know each other and walk to the restaurant. I’m not sure if I’m exhausted, already bored or just distracted by thoughts of The Musician in my bed that morning but before the date even really starts I just want to go home. I know this is unfair so I try and shake my head clear and give him a fair chance.

Lunch is awkward. Mostly because I order a giant plate of chicken, broccoli and zita and pretty much demolish the entire plate. I’m not sure if he was impressed or mortified. We keep up pretty good conversation and after lunch, we walk around in the nice summer weather. I tell him about how I was hit by a car, he tells me about how his front teeth were knocked out from a stupid bicycle accident (and then I feel bad that I was disgusted by his gums which look eternally bruised). We share a lot of useless information and I can tell he’s not ready to end this date so we walk and walk and then when he asks if I want to get a drink, I say yes, even though I still want to go home. He really is a nice guy. We have a drink at a bar and talk some more. And I can tell he’s really into me so I realize it’s really time to go home. We walk back to the T station, he tells me how good a time he had and I neither agree or disagree and proceed to walk home to Cambridge from Haymarket, a good 20-minute walk.

Rating this date on a scale from 1-10 (1 being the worst date I’ve ever been on and 10 being the best), I’d give this date a 5. I’d consider going on a date with him again. I’d probably never consider making out with him.

I get home and as I go to take a nap before my night out, who texts me? The Scientist telling me how great a time he had and that we should hang out soon. Too soon Scientist, too soon. And for all the men out there who probably are NOT reading this, I’m going to give you a piece of advice.

THE RULE OF THREE

If you aren’t sure when to call a girl after you get her number or go on a first date, use the rule of three. Three days is always a good amount of time. One day, let alone one hour, says: “I’m too into you,” immediately putting a girl off. Four or more days says, “I’m just not that into you, even at all.” Three says, “I’m a normal but busy guy. I am definitely interested in you but I also have a life.” Three days is really the perfect amount of time. Two days is only acceptable if you actually think the girl is your soul mate and you don’t want her to slip away. If you aren’t sure, go with three!!

Evening

For my evening, I had a girls night out planned. I was going out with my roommate, her sister and friend. We went to a couple of bars in the Faneuil Hall area because those bars are ridiculous and I can only tolerate them every so often. I can especially tolerate them if I am newly single as I know I’m bound to get hit on and that’s just what you need when you are newly single. My roommate, Erika, her friend Erin and I end up at Sissy K’s (Erika’s sister, engaged and a little bit older is done with these bars a little earlier). At Sissy K’s we proceed to dance our hearts out and get very, very drunk.

While doing this, I get a message from The Musician about how tired he is and I ask him if that means I get to be drunk and wake HIM up at in the middle of the night. Of course, he doesn’t object. I’m then extremely excited and proceed to dance and drink more.

Unexpectedly, I meet a typical Boston guy, who I think is pretty attractive and definitely a lot of fun. But, he’s the typical Boston guy with the accent and is cute but in a meathead kind of way, so I’m judging him a bit, which is mean. We get to talking though and I find out he’s going to Suffolk Law – say what? This guy is going to be a lawyer? I ask him where he went to undergrad – Tufts University. Holy Shit, I think, this kid is smart. And this is why, boys and girls, we should never judge books by their covers. Anyway, we have a really fun time, he asks for my number and tells me he wants to take me to dinner. And despite the fact that he tried to make out with me in the bar before I left (I screamed at him I DON’T DO THAT IN BARS!!! That’s right ladies, you’re never too drunk to know that making out in bars is just not classy), I will go out with him if he calls.

The After Party

And as I left the bar, it was time to bug The Musician as promised. Now, I’m not proud of the next thing I am going to tell you all but it’s something that I must share. I was looking for a cab, drunk – way drunker than anticipated, by myself, in heels. As all the bars were letting out and everyone was going home, a cab wasn’t an easy thing to get. After 20 minutes of searching, I wasn’t sure what to do. It wasn’t even that I couldn’t get to The Musician’s apartment, I couldn’t’ even get to mine. What was I going to do??? Right when I was about to cry like a really bad drunk girl, a pickup truck pulls over. A middle aged Italian man asks in a Boston accent: “Do you need a ride?” Well, yes I thought. I do. But then all the alarms went off in my head – BAD IDEA, KATIE. THIS SCREAMS LAW & ORDER SVU EPISODE. YOU ARE GOING TO GET RAPED AND KILLED IF YOU GET IN THIS CAR.

And then I get in his car, text The Musician if I’m not there in 5 minutes, I’m dead and to call the police. And the guy, who I find out is named Nick, is just a really nice guy and drives me to my destination. He only asks for a cigarette but I don’t have one and we shake hands. And I get out and THANK GOD that I’m alive. I will never hitchhike ever again, however, I can take it off my bucket list, because really who hasn’t wanted to hitchhike at least once in their lives!

I wake The Musician up, say things, I probably shouldn’t say, do things I probably shouldn’t do, and wake up terribly hung over. And somehow, my hangover doesn’t prevent me from sleeping with The Musician. And then afterwards, he plays the piano and it’s amazing. And I feel myself melting and that’s when I know I’m in way over my head.

So, the only way I can come up with to cope with this all is to add more guys to the equation. I need to message more guys on OKCupid and I need to go on dates with other people pronto before I really end up falling for The Musician. I should also probably invest in another hobby that isn’t going on dates with guys, but I’ll take one day at a time.