The first person I started talking to when I decided to go back onto the online dating scene was The Australian. I found him on the How About We site. I thought he was interesting because he was on it just to find a person to hang out with when he came to visit in L.A. So we emailed back and forth for a bit and finally the time came and he was here!
He told me he was coming for six days and I was really unsure if I was supposed to be his tour guide for the entire time or if he had six different girls lined up to hang out with. I can tell you that I did let my imagination run away with me and envisioned this fun fling that would not be unlike Sandy and Danny's summer fling in Grease.... VIDEO CLIP TIME!
I will tell you right now that's not what happened at all.
He arrived Saturday after driving from Las Vegas and we met up at The Cat & Fiddle which is a cool restaurant/bar with a ton of outdoor seating in Hollywood. And as we sat at the bar, him drinking a Budweiser, me a dark & stormy, all I could think was: "Holy Shit, this is one of the hottest guys I have ever been out with." Between that and the accent it was REAL hard to concentrate. I have a few friends who really don't like the Australian accent and I'm not sure I had a preference either way but it worked for this Australian. Okay, honestly, the guy could have talked with any accent or not at all and I would have been totally okay with it. That's how hot he was!
We talked and hung out for awhile. I learned that I know absolutely nothing about the great country of Australia. You mean it's not exactly like England but on the other side of the world? Here are things I learned and yes, I'm kind of ashamed about some of these facts that I'm sure I should have known:
They have their own money! I'm not sure what I thought they used - pounds, maybe? Again, I just thought Australia was another England, leave me alone. Also, Australian money color coded.... kind of like Monopoly money (see right).
The prime minister of Australia is a woman! But, no one really seems to like her. At least according to this Australian.
They do NOT call soccer football. They call it soccer. But apparently they are real bad at it so no one really follows it.
They have a super weird sport that is hugely popular. I still don't understand it but it's called Australian Rules Football. It's seems to me to be a weird combination of soccer and football but then a lot of other random rules mixed in.
Not everyone from Australia surfs. That's just a stereotype! The Australian grew up in Melbourne by the bay so the waves were calm and he never learned how to surf.
And then after a few drinks, it was time to go. I was super awkward saying goodbye because ummm hello, I had a few drinks in me and had been staring at a guy who was so hot it was stupid for nearly three hours. I restrained myself and we made plans to hang out again. But.....when I texted him yesterday to follow up on these plans, I got a text message back 12 hours later saying he was in Hong Kong. Apparently, he had gotten an early flight home. Now, I'm not sure if this was a lie or not but either way.... OUCH!!! Oh well, at least I got free drinks on a Saturday night and spent three hours drooling over a really hot dude.... am I right!?
Whatever. Stupid hot Australians!! Now I'd like us all to watch a video of an Australian comedian making fun of the stupid Austrilian accent. Yeah, it was hot on Saturday but today I think it's stupid. Another Video Clip Time!
This week I have had two dates that went pretty well and then two phone calls that made me want to scream and punch something - don't worry, I remained somewhat calm and did neither.
Let's start with the good shall we?
So, during my date on Friday with DJ Skinny, I started what I didn't realize would be a never ending text conversation with a new guy from OkCupid: TextFriend. I know it was probably rude for me to start texting someone I was going to potentially go on a date with while on a date, but remember, DJ Skinny used the word "homie" in a sentence, in more than one instance! Anyway, TextFriend gets his name because he's a textaholic but he has the potential to actually be a friend so I want to be nice.
At first, our texting conversation was fun because it was a nice distraction from DJ Skinny and then from the party that I went to later that night where I felt completely out of place. And then the texts just kept coming......and that's when I knew this would not end well. He was totally funny and I could tell through his text messages we'd get along BUT....seriously, texting before noon on a Sunday should be illegal.
On Monday, through texts (of course) TextFriend asked me to lunch. When I said I was busy, he asked if was I busy all night. Finally, I realized that if I wanted these text messages to stop I would have to hang out with him. Also, we decided, through texts, to be facebook friends, so I got more of a preview online of what to expect. Again, I don't want to be mean because I think he was a really nice guy and I really do want to be friends with him but let's just say he chose one flattering photo for OkCupid and chose lots of unflattering photos for facebook. When we finally met, at the Big Foot Lodge in Los Feliz, he looked somewhere in between his photos on facebook and the one photo on OkCupid. My one major complaint was his fashion, or lack thereof and I really hope we can be friends so I can give him a makeover. You know, like clueless, VIDEO CLIP TIME:
Despite TextFriend's poor fashion, he actually was a super nice guy. When I got to the bar, he had already befriended the bartender! And who doesn't love people who can make friends easily? And he was super easy to talk to and we had a great time. By the end of the date I really wanted to be more than TextFriends....I wanted to be friends. A big emphasis on the word "friends" though. I know better than anyone else that to be friends with someone from from an online DATING site is really hard if not near impossible. So when the texts started bright and early the next morning after we hung out at Big Foot Lodge (texts before 10am on weekdays should also be illegal), I knew I was going to have to drop the friend bomb. Luckily, he gave me the perfect opportunity when he asked the three following questions:
Was I your first Cupid date? (My answer: No)
How do I match up to the others? (My answer: Definitely haven't thought about it)
Are you interested in hanging out again?
And after the third question is when I dropped the ole friend bomb. He thanked me for being upfront and said he would like to hang out as friends. I'm skeptical, of course. The good news: no more texts! Woohoo!
Last night, I went on the 2nd date of the week and 3rd date of my LA online dating adventure series. He also happened to be the first guy I met in person from the How About We site. And I shall call him The Art Student! We emailed a bit but saved most of the small talk for actually meeting which was great because we had a lot to talk about! The Art Student lives in Little Tokyo and suggested a great sushi place down by him. It was called Komasa and it was AMAZING.
First, I've decided going out for sushi is a WONDERFUL first date. It's not messy or hard to eat and sharing food is the norm so it's not awkward (I'm still bitter about sharing a dish with DJ Skinny last Friday).
Second, The Art Student was really attractive, super normal and a genuine good guy. Given these three things, I tried to give him a flaw by thinking, "Well, he's not that great he's an art student." BUT it turns out he's in grad school for product design and he has a legitimate career plan! So, here I am enjoying him, the date and get this...no I mean sit down, and prepare yourself for this one: he was totally not interested in me!!! He was nice enough but I could just tell. I'm not sure why he was so uninterested and that's when I had a scary thought. What if there is an online dating equation that looks like this:
Weird/crazy person + Normal person = Online Dating Experience.
If that's the case than I was totally the weird/crazy person on my date with The Art Student. And I realize that even thinking that really enforces that I just might be crazy or weird or both.....
Luckily, even if he thought I was crazy or weird, he did not hold it against me. He paid for dinner and walked me to my car like a true gentleman. But I have to say when we hugged goodbye and I got that gut feeling that this would be last time we hugged, I got a little sad. I hope I didn't awkward linger... that would be weird/crazy. Sigh....it's always the normal guys that get away.
But let's be honest, normal isn't all that fun to write or read about so bring on the crazies!
Speaking of....
Geminis. Gemini women, I love you, there are so many of you in my life and I think you are all wonderful but I'm starting to think we probably wouldn't be able to date. Why do I say this? Because Quincy and The Ex are Geminis and today, BOTH of them drove me out of my mind.
It started with The Ex. So, The Ex has been calling me a lot and I've continued to ignore these calls. He then called Saturday night at 11:30pm my time which meant it was 2:30am where he was. Again, I ignored the call and then had to listen to a really angry message in which he swore at me a few times because I had been ignoring him. He never called to apologize for leaving such an unwarranted voice mail. So, I felt the need to tell him about this voice mail and also just let him know exactly why I had been ignoring him in the first place. Long story short, he was an asshole, as usual, about everything I had to say. Thank you, Ex, for giving me yet another example of why I don't need you in my life.
After I called a wonderful Gemini in my life to talk about this stupid phone conversation with the stupid Gemini in my life, I felt really great. She calmed me down and said really encouraging words that made me feel like I did and said all the right things. And within 5 minutes of feeling wonderful my phone rings and it's Quincy. Awesome. I let it go to voicemail. After listening to his voicemail that said, "I guess you don't want to talk to me which is okay but I wanted to let you know if you ever do want to talk I'm here." I wanted to throw my phone into oncoming traffic. And I have three very great reasons for why:
The first time he called me since I saw him was last Tuesday, January 17th. Today was the only other call I got. He hardly made an effort to get in touch with me. If he called me like 3-4 times and I didn't pick up or call back, his statement of "I guess you don't want to talk to me," although absolutely true, would be more of a valid statement. TWO phone calls NINE days is hardly enough time for him to actually realize I'm purposefully ignoring him.
The last time I saw him, which was now almost A MONTH AGO, he said the words, "I'll call you before you leave." He called me on Tuesday, January 17th, TWO weeks after I left. Is he really surprised that I'm not jumping the moment my phone rings and it's him?
I was in Boston, the city he lives in, for 2.5 weeks and I got an invitation to hang out with him 0 times but now he wants to talk? And what about and why?
UGHH!!!! I now I swear off dating Gemini men. Sorry dudes, but you seem to be a bit crazy and I have a one date maximum for crazies.
And those are my thoughts on Texting, Sushi and Geminis.
When a guy admits to being skinny on his online dating profile this means he's one of those weird individuals who can't gain weight no matter how hard they try. And if that's not your thing, you should probably steer clear. Super skinny guys are not my thing. Call me crazy, but I just don't like a guy who if he tried on my clothes not only would they fit but they might be a bit baggy on him. So when I walked in to Chi Dynasty in Los Feliz Friday night, I kind of felt like I was in middle school because that's the last time I remember being bigger than a guy. To be fair, he was a bit taller than me. I had shoes that brought me up to about 5'5"-5'6"and he was MAYBE 2 inches taller than me. But he was definitely 10-20 pounds lighter than me - and I'm not a big girl, so I wondered if he had an eating disorder. This is LA after all.
Trying not to let my shallowness get in the way of a perfectly good evening, we sat down for some Chinese food. I was so excited to get my normal pork fried rice, General Tso's chicken and egg roll! But then.... he suggested all these other things because he knows the owner and he goes there a lot. And we ended up splitting dishes that were just okay. Ugh...... so my craving for Chinese food remains.
And then on to the conversation. I'm not sure when it was ever okay to use the word "homie" by anyone but I definitely know a tiny, white guy who grew up in Austin should never utter that word in the year 2012. And that is why I'm calling him DJ Skinny. Even if he didn't tell me that he made hip hop beats in his spare time, it was very clear by the way he talked. The only way to describe the way he talked is by VIDEO CLIP TIME (Note: DJ Skinny did not dress or talk offensively, in fact he was very respectful but other than that, this is pretty much the way he talked):
Ooooh Seth Green what a terrible career choice.
Anyway, the conversation was fine but at the end of the meal I was more than ready to call it a night. And that's when he asked if I wanted to get a drink. And stupid me said, "Sure.... why not?" We went across the street to Drawing Room which is the diviest of dive bars. On the walk over I learned two things: 1. He's half-Jewish and 2. He had a bit of a swagger when he walked. Yep, this 5'7", 110 pound, half-Jewish guy had a swagger? Why? WHY?!
Drawing Room was really packed and it was full of hipsters. I could tell DJ Skinny was made nervous by all the flannel, thick rimmed glasses and facial hair. But, we stayed for a drink and that's when he decided to tell me about his new apartment. It's a lovely studio in Hollywood and he has set up his turntables, computers (he has 5....?) and his sleeping bag. Yeah...a sleeping bag. I'm not into skinnier-than-me guys and I'm also not into guys who don't own a bed and I'm not going to apologize for that. After this fun fact was learned, I downed the rest of Corona and was ready to go home.
With an awkward goodbye, I thanked him for dinner and pretended that we should do this again sometime.
Also, I knew going into this date that he is "going through a divorce." At least that's what his profile said. He only brought up his ex-wife a couple of times so I'm not sure if the divorce is finalized or not but I'm assuming if he doesn't own a bed the divorce is pretty new.
DJ Skinny meant well, he really did. Unfortunately, his odd combination of hip-hop talking, swagger walking, sleeping bag sleeping, needs to eat a sandwich or 20 build was just not doing it for me. But I'm sure he'll make someone very happy some day.
One date down... many to go. DJ Skinny set the bar low, let's just hope no one lowers it!
Well, tonight is the big night - my first date since I decided to give pointing, clicking and dating a go again.
I'm not particularly nervous although I do feel like my dating skills are not as sharp as they once were. So, I decided to watch this LONG, LONG video from 1949 to remind myself what I should and should not do on a date (VIDEO CLIP TIME - skip to 10:39, that's when it gets real hilarious):
My takeaways from this video are:
Look my best
Look in the mirror before I leave
Be on time
Make my date feel relaxed
Have a good time
Enjoy what I'm doing
Take my date seriously
Don't stay out particularly late
At the end of the date, tell him I had "loads of fun".
I think I'm ready! Okay, seriously, did people actually watch these videos and really act like this?
The only real thing I'm worried about is I've been on so many interviews lately, I'm scared I'll start asking him interview questions just to you know, have the upper hand for once this week. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How well do you work on teams? What is a weakness you would like to improve? What is your experience with editing videos?
I'm most looking forward to the Chinese food we'll be eating. I've been craving it for a month now! And we're going to a restaurant down the street from me so here's hoping the food is delicious and then I can become a regular!
Well, check back tomorrow for the report on tonight's date!
Until then, I have a great, quick side story:
In Boston I went on a date with a guy I called Promo Guy (Click here to read about that date). He was super nice but I'm pretty sure he wasn't straight. As I was pointing and clicking the other day guess who I saw!? Promo Guy! He was using the same photo and everything! At first I thought he might be stalking me but then I remembered he used to live out here and I kind of recall him saying something about wanting to move back. I also thought about messaging him because I thought it would be funny but then I remembered I had agreed to go on a second date with him. I then canceled via text, told him I was sick and told him I'd call when I was better. I hope he believes that I just never got better and not that I was a total coward and couldn't just say, "Yeah, sorry, I'm just no that into you." I hope Promo Guy finds the love he is looking for in L.A. Although until he comes out I'm not sure it's going to work out for him.
Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls.... I have decided to revive Point. Click. Date. for one month and one month only!!
Why? Well, there are lots of reasons:
1. I'm unemployed right now which means I'm BORED. My Point. Click. Date. days were definitely entertaining if nothing else.
2. I live in a new city - LA and it's hard to meet people so why not meet potentially fun strangers from the internet? Plus, I'll get to discover more things about LA while meeting said strangers from the internet!
And the third reason is......
3. It's Valentine's Day season... and I swear it started the day after Christmas. And now I can't walk into a grocery store or pharmacy or any place that might sell candy or cards without being reminded that Valentine's Day is right around the corner and I couldn't be more single if I tried. Of course, I'm still skeptical of the whole online dating thing and I'm not expecting to find a boyfriend through the internet. BUT being single and actually going on dates is a lot more fun than being single and staying at home by yourself, overdosing on Netflix. Yeah, don't worry about the fact that in the last 2 weeks I watched every single episode of How I Met Your Mother Seasons 1 - 6... it's totally cool.
I decided this time around I would try a NEW online dating site in addition to the regular OkCupid site. The new site is How About We which I think has a lot of potential but the reason I'm not solely going to use this site is there aren't as many people on it and you can tell everyone is a bit hesitant and not sure if it's legit or not. What I love about the How About We site is it's all about creating dates first and less about the stupid questions. So on your profile it will say "How about we....." and then you fill in the blank. I find it hilarious that most guys are still pretty uncreative and say "get drinks" but at least they are upfront about their non-creativeness. I've been on it for the last couple of days and I've already started chatting up a potential character - I mean date - his name for the blog will be The Australian because well, he's Australian. He went on the site to literally just meet someone to hang out with in LA when he's here visting. It should be a hilarious time if we actually meet.
Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself here. I should update you on where my ating life has gone in the last 10 months.
I left Point. Click. Date. after meeting the most gorgeous guy, The Catch, who seemed to have it all. He was smart, funny, HOT, successful and he even had a chocolate lab. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I'm the one that blew it. I mean I hadn't heard from him in a couple of days but I mean we just started dating AND I had dropped a major bomb - that I was visiting my ex-boyfriend for 10 days. I mean, of course, he was going to keep a little distance between us! I wasn't ready for The Catch and now I will just think longingly of the amazing relationship that could have been. Sigh......
And what did I give that all up for? A pretty horrible 10 days with The Ex. Okay... that's not true it wasn't horrible. We had some fun in there but mostly we fought but with great fighting comes great angry sex.... so I mean at least we had that. After I left, we both knew that we probably shouldn't talk to each other for awhile but that was going to be a bit hard since we were both going to a wedding a week later. We made it through the entire wedding being nice, dancing and having fun but then many glasses of wine and beer later, at the very end of the night a terrible fight broke out. He thought I was hitting on a member of the band and first of all, I wasn't but then I also believed he didn't reserve the right to be jealous anymore. It was a drunk, messy fight and that's when we really agreed space and no communication was absolutely necessary. We went a whole month without talking and then he was up in Boston for a Bachelor party. I didn't plan on seeing him but when he called late at night and said all his friends had left him, I made the stupid mistake of saying he could come over. After feeding me bullshit all night about how he missed me and how he felt like his best friend was gone, I ate it right up and slept with him. And because I really am the worst, I started making plans to visit him in Florida. Am I stupid? Yes, yes I am. There I was again back in this "thing" again with The Ex. I visited him over Memorial Day weekend, we talked all throughout June and then I headed back down to Florida for July 4th weekend and we took a trip to Key West. But, on July 5th when The Ex dropped me off at the airport, I said goodbye and this time it was for real. At that point, I knew I was moving across the country which essentially meant starting over and I needed to leave this thing with The Ex where it belonged on the East Coast and in the past. The Ex and I broke up in August of 2010 and somehow managed to draw out an unhealthy relationship for almost an entire year!! And on July 5th...I was over it, I was over us, for good.
And for the rest of the summer, I decided I was over guys/dating in general. On July 5th, I flew to L.A. to go to one of the best events I've ever been a part of and when I got back to Boston on July 11th, I only had a month and a half left in Boston. I wanted to spend that time with all my amazing friends and what kind of stupid idiot would get involved with a guy when she's going to leave soon anyway?
Oh. Wait. That's exactly what I did.
Just two and a half weeks after I said my final goodbye to The Ex, I found myself in bed with a guy I've known for years, he's from my hometown so let's just call him Quincy because that's fun. To accurately tell this story, I need to back up to July 2010 when Kaitlin had a cookout. If you remember, this is when I first met The Musician and thought he was cute. Also in attendance that night was Quincy, who I hadn't seen probably in seven years. I vividly remember thinking, "Damn, Quincy, grew up. Good for him." Because the Quincy I knew was short, skinny, nice but sort of annoying. Well, Quincy aged well and he was no longer short and filled out and I could carry a great conversation - I was impressed. But, if you remember at this cookout I was still dating The Ex and I could not act on my attractions to either Quincy or The Musician. And unfortunately for me, at the next cookout only The Musician was in attendance - we can only just imagine what would have happened if Quincy had been there.....
Anyway, back to July 2011. Kaitlin was going out to McFadden's which may just be Boston's douchiest bar and needed a wing woman because she was trying to sleep with this guy that I'm going to call The Brofather. The Brofather and Kaitlin are no longer sleeping together but are actually super close friends now. I'm calling him The Brofather because all his friends are bros. Okay, so back to the day Kaitlin was trying to get some action from The Brofather - I had been out all day in the summer heat and pretty much thought I looked like a disaster but I decided to join her anyway. Again, I was so not in the mood for guys so I figured it really didn't matter what I looked like. And I needed to be a good wing woman and talk to The Brofather's friends so Kaitlin could have one on one time with The Brofather. Unfortunately, The Brofather had really disappointing bros out with him that night. One, who was and still is a huge douche and the hardest person in America to have a conversation with and the other who was super sweet but overweight, short and a ginger - and he was sweating profusely. But at least the sweating ginger could keep a conversation so I ended up talking to him for awhile when I realized he thought he was making good ground with me. Oh no! That's when I ran to the bathroom even though I didn't have to go. Fleeing is always a good option right? When I get back who was just entering the bar? Quincy. Again, I'm like damn, Quincy got pretty freaking hot. And I give him a hug and ask him to save me from the sweating ginger.
Quincy and I end up having a great time. Kaitlin leaves with The Brofather and Quincy and I stay a little while to talk more and catch up. Finally, we decide to try to make the last train home and we walk to Park Street. And while walking to the train, he tells me he thinks my dress is really pretty and that's when I lost it. I realize that I just had this amazing time this pretty great guy, I think he's cute and I totally want him to kiss me or ask for my number or something! So, when we're at the train and we have to go our separate ways, I look up at him waiting to do something! But... he just says he had fun, gives me a hug and we go to our separate train platforms. And I think damn, I guess he wasn't into it. Oh well...
But then when I get down to my platform, I hear "Katie! You should call me!" And I said, "I don't have your number" And then I shout out mine. And his train is there but it's waiting because the last trains wait at every stop for a stupid amount of time. And he says something like, "You should be on my train!" And I say, "Yeah? You want company?" And he's totally surprised but he says yes. And I shrug and say okay. And I'm pretty sure he didn't think I would go get on his train but I totally did. And that's how I end up going home with Quincy. And when I woke up the next morning, something weird happened. I was in no rush to leave. He ended up making me breakfast, playing the guitar and then finally driving me home. Two days later, I'm telling him that I could do this for a month and he says okay. And that's how I get myself involved with someone exactly one month before I leave.
And it was SUPPOSED to be just fun and no feelings but of course, that's not what happened at all. I found myself really into him. We went on one of the best dates I have ever gone on in my entire dating career, for goodness sake! And there I am crying because I'm leaving to move across the country and I just met this guy who I have an amazing time with! And it should have just ended there but two weeks after I left for LA I was back in town for work. So, of course, I end up spending all my free time with him. And we have this amazing weekend but we agree long distance is a dumb idea. Although, to be honest, if he had said "Long distance is a really dumb idea but let's be dumb!" I would have said, "Okay!" But, he didn't, so I didn't and that was that. And then I come back over Halloween and I'm not sure what's going to happen this time but again we spend basically the entire weekend together. This time we have an awkward talk and he tells me again that long distance doesn't work. And I get it but I guess it's hard for me to actually have a connection with someone and then call it off just because of distance. There was a part of me that just wanted things to play out because you never know? But when I realized long distance was a deal breaker and nonnegotiable, I told him had been fun but things had to end for good because I deserved to be something more than somebody's fun weekend. Of course they didn't end there, because six and a half weeks later I'm back in town for the holidays. Which if I could take back seeing him over the holidays I would because it was terrible. He was distant, cold and I felt like he was totally just using me to get laid.
On top of that, The Ex was home and completely bailed on our plans to hang out saying, "he was too busy."And when I confronted Quincy about being distant he said it was "Unintentional and he had just been really busy." And I decided I'm so sick of guys telling me they are "too busy." If you want to spend time with someone you make the time. Everyone is busy! And I realized I was making time to hang out with guys who didn't want to make time for me. So, although I really do think The Ex and Quincy are great guys they ended up being assholes to me. And I'm so done with assholes. I haven't talked to Quincy since I dropped him off at his parents' house and he literally said, "I'll talk to you before you leave" (LIE). And I've only talked to The Ex about taking photos and measurements of a painting I made for him (I applied to art school and I needed it for my portfolio). The Ex has tried to reach out but I'm done. There is no need to talk to Quincy or The Ex for a very long time.
To end on a slightly lighter note, I do want to say a lot of silly & funny things happened in between all that drama - like Medicine Man finding this blog, reading the whole thing and then sending me an awkward email about how things went down. I didn't respond. I then saw him on my last night in Boston when I was outside The Oberon in Harvard Square on my phone. He walked by and said, "I thought you were in L.A!?" And I'm so puzzled by this and I said, "Tomorrow!" And then I realize that Medicine Man totally kept up with my "Life. After Dating" blog. I'm so glad he enjoyed my writing but... kinda weird, right?
Oh boy...
Well, I'm excited about the next month and all the crazy, dating adventures I'm going to get myself into. So... here it goes again..... VIDEO CLIP TIME!!!!!!
