It was a Thursday night. I had just gotten back from a 4 hour run on the Esplanade. On that post-run high, I was feeling even better about my decision to sign up for OKCupid. I kept reminding myself it wasn't a big deal because it was free and besides I was really doing this so that I could write about it all and be one step closer to the one and only Carrie Bradshaw. I know this is an outdated reference but my heart still lies so close to the Sex & the City show even if they have made a mockery out of it by making ridiculous movies, that I still in some, over crazed fan way, enjoyed. Yes, even the second one... It would be a shame to have a blog about dating and not mention the show really.
I digress. So, signing up for OKCupid. Really easy. I actually was signed up and up for public viewing before I even knew it. And by the time I uploaded one picture, I had 10 messages! Man, even if I didn't want to go on ridiculous dates in 10 minutes I literally had a burst in confidence and maybe my ego was getting a little full of herself. But, hey, can you blame me? Wen you get a bunch of messages after you post a picture of yourself, you know it's not because they really "like what you say" in your profile. Come on...
Anyway, the majority of the messages were from seemingly nice people but let's just say they weren't the best looking. Alright, I'm just going to be mean, most of them were pretty hideous. If I'm going to go on this website and date, I'm not going to do it with ugly people, even if I don't have to pay for the site or for any dates I might go on. I realize this may make me a horrible and shallow person but at least I'm honest.
One of the first to message me, however, was not half bad looking so I thought it had to start somewhere. We messaged back and forth a bit and then he instant messaged me! And we continued to basically have a bunch of small talk, that I guess you would have a on first date but it was all online. He seemed pretty normal and I learned he was going to Northeastern University for something I can't pronounce: bioinformatics. Never heard of it myself but it has to do with science and technology. For our intents and purposes, I'll refer to him as The Scientist.
As I perused the website for matches and answered pretty ridiculous questions in order to get messages, The Scientist and I chatted about all sorts of different things. He seemed pretty nice and when obviously the "there's never a moment too soon to ask an awkward question" personality came out on my end and asked him why he was on the site, I found it pretty ironic. He "just got out of a long relationship and thought it was a better way or at least different than the whole meeting drunk people in bars." Hmm sounded a little familiar.
Then I decided I should message someone, you know, to get the well rounded experience. I couldn't just wait for ALL the messages come to me although I thought about it. And then I found The Artist. His pictures were super cute, adorable even and in his profile he said he could draw giraffes and I just about died. I LOVE giraffes. So, I went out on a limb and sent him a message. And 20 minutes later, he messaged me back! Aww...
And while this was all going on, instant message chatting, messages, more dumb questions answered, getting closer and closer to profile completion, matches kept coming up on my sidebar. I kept looking to see if anyone promising showed up when guess who comes up on my screen? You guessed it again, no other than: THE MUSICIAN.
I really had to hold back and not send him a message that said, "This is kinda like that 'Pina Colada' song except we haven't been married for years or even hung out that much at all, but kinda just like that song, huh?"
And then I laughed for 20 minutes and of course, sent Kaitlin an email to tell her about this hilarious occurrence. I did think it was pretty good that we were a 70% match, 94% friend match and only 7% enemies. Good thing OKCupid did the math for us, that would have been embarrassing to find out we were 50% enemies the old fashioned way. ;)
And to end the night, and this post, The Scientist asked for my number and my first online date ever was going to happen whether or not I was ready! Very interesting introduction into the online dating scene.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The Musician
The Musician
The Musician is not someone I met through OKCupid, however, he has a role to play in all of this. I met him though my friend, Kaitlin. The first time was back in July when I had a boyfriend and although I thought he was cute I kept this thought to myself. The next time, I was a free lady so the situation was much different. All evening questions popped in my mind "Was he this attractive last time?", "Was he this funny?" "Is it just me or does he keep stealing glances at me?" "Why is he so much cooler than last time?" Well, I guess singlehood give you a nice fresh perspective. Then I offered him to give me a ride home and when he called my major in college bad ass (I created my own major and most people look at me sideways not understanding), I knew this was someone I wanted to see again.
And before I knew it, I felt about 14 years old and had a a crush! He was attractive, funny, smart, artistic AND down to earth?? COME ON. I willed him to ask for my number and as I was willing, he asked if I "bumped."I thought this was a really inappropriate question since he really didn't know me that well. However, he meant did I have the "Bump App" iPhone. Kids these days with their modern technology. I didn't have the Bump App and I had to manually put my number into his phone. He on the other hand, texted me his contact information so that all I had to do was hit add as contact and everything I ever wanted to know about him short of his social security number was added to my phone automatically. I went from having no information to his number, his work and personal email, his twitter user name, the link to his blog, his address and his birthday. It was information overload but obviously gave me lots of things to look up and look through. Firstly, whether or not Pisces and Taurus are a good match. According to Elle Magazine it's a lovely match. PHEW.
The Musician is not someone I met through OKCupid, however, he has a role to play in all of this. I met him though my friend, Kaitlin. The first time was back in July when I had a boyfriend and although I thought he was cute I kept this thought to myself. The next time, I was a free lady so the situation was much different. All evening questions popped in my mind "Was he this attractive last time?", "Was he this funny?" "Is it just me or does he keep stealing glances at me?" "Why is he so much cooler than last time?" Well, I guess singlehood give you a nice fresh perspective. Then I offered him to give me a ride home and when he called my major in college bad ass (I created my own major and most people look at me sideways not understanding), I knew this was someone I wanted to see again.
And before I knew it, I felt about 14 years old and had a a crush! He was attractive, funny, smart, artistic AND down to earth?? COME ON. I willed him to ask for my number and as I was willing, he asked if I "bumped."I thought this was a really inappropriate question since he really didn't know me that well. However, he meant did I have the "Bump App" iPhone. Kids these days with their modern technology. I didn't have the Bump App and I had to manually put my number into his phone. He on the other hand, texted me his contact information so that all I had to do was hit add as contact and everything I ever wanted to know about him short of his social security number was added to my phone automatically. I went from having no information to his number, his work and personal email, his twitter user name, the link to his blog, his address and his birthday. It was information overload but obviously gave me lots of things to look up and look through. Firstly, whether or not Pisces and Taurus are a good match. According to Elle Magazine it's a lovely match. PHEW.
But you know what? This is just like me to get ahead of myself. So, I tried to play it cool and when he didn't call me for five days, I tried to pretend I wasn't counting. I did hear the scoop from Kaitlin that he was interested though so then I thought: "Hey. HEY. If he's interested, and I told Kaitlin I'm interested, and then in true 6th grade fashion Kaitlin assured him I was interested so that he had the green light to make some plans, well what the F was taking so long?" Ugh, Typical Taurus, super impatient.
So, what did I do? Wait for him to call NO. I invited him out to listen to some Irish music at a bar in Inman Square. And he came, again had great conversation, we stayed out late and then he drove me home. As we started to approach my house, I wondered if he'd make a move or maybe he was just super passive just like he wouldn't call, oh no, well I couldn't - "Can I use your bathroom?" he asked interrupting my thoughts. I laughed, literally out loud. "Use my bathroom," smooth. But, of course I said yes and he "used my bathroom," maybe one day I'll ask him if he actually had to go. And then he came out and I thought this is it! And then he made awkward small talk and said he should go. I followed him to the door and gave him the best doe eyes I could muster up. And then.... an awkward hug and he was going. And my jaw dropped and I asked the ceiling "Really? Really? Nothing?" I slammed my door and again asked the door the same questions. It stayed silent, I think it was embarrassed for everyone involved in this situation.
And just as I was about to text someone, most likely Kaitilin, about this ridiculous ordeal, I get a message from you guessed it, The Musician! "I wanted to stay but I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to hit on you." Well, what did that mean? I immediately called and asked. He had done his background check just as I had. He knew I was fresh to the single world and made assumptions that maybe he should back off. I told him as little as possible about my break up but said that it was a good thing it was over and that I liked him and wished he hadn't gone. Apparently, he hadn't. He was still downstairs. And the next thing I knew it we were kissing in the doorway just as I had imagined. And then the next thing I knew I was waking up next to him. Now don't get the wrong idea, it really wasn't like that. I'm not that easy. Geez.
And then a week went by and what do you know? Radio silence from The Musician. Kaitlin, my not so secret, secret spy tried to get some info. He had a great time! He was going to call! And then he didn't. And again, I was outraged. Why? What's the problem now? And again, the Taurus in me couldn't just leave it be. I confronted the problem in truly childish fashion by sending him a text - hey don't judge me most of you wouldn't have called either. I got to the bottom of it. He was interested, but cautious because he too was getting over a break up - which seemed much worse then mine and since I knew it had happened 4 months ago because I did my background check too, it must have been REALLY bad. So, that made me feel like I should be cautious. I wasn't interested in a boyfriend, I wasn't interested in holding someone's had to just date me and have fun either. So, how do I distract myself....
OKCupid and this blog seemed like the perfect option.
So, what did I do? Wait for him to call NO. I invited him out to listen to some Irish music at a bar in Inman Square. And he came, again had great conversation, we stayed out late and then he drove me home. As we started to approach my house, I wondered if he'd make a move or maybe he was just super passive just like he wouldn't call, oh no, well I couldn't - "Can I use your bathroom?" he asked interrupting my thoughts. I laughed, literally out loud. "Use my bathroom," smooth. But, of course I said yes and he "used my bathroom," maybe one day I'll ask him if he actually had to go. And then he came out and I thought this is it! And then he made awkward small talk and said he should go. I followed him to the door and gave him the best doe eyes I could muster up. And then.... an awkward hug and he was going. And my jaw dropped and I asked the ceiling "Really? Really? Nothing?" I slammed my door and again asked the door the same questions. It stayed silent, I think it was embarrassed for everyone involved in this situation.
And just as I was about to text someone, most likely Kaitilin, about this ridiculous ordeal, I get a message from you guessed it, The Musician! "I wanted to stay but I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to hit on you." Well, what did that mean? I immediately called and asked. He had done his background check just as I had. He knew I was fresh to the single world and made assumptions that maybe he should back off. I told him as little as possible about my break up but said that it was a good thing it was over and that I liked him and wished he hadn't gone. Apparently, he hadn't. He was still downstairs. And the next thing I knew it we were kissing in the doorway just as I had imagined. And then the next thing I knew I was waking up next to him. Now don't get the wrong idea, it really wasn't like that. I'm not that easy. Geez.
And then a week went by and what do you know? Radio silence from The Musician. Kaitlin, my not so secret, secret spy tried to get some info. He had a great time! He was going to call! And then he didn't. And again, I was outraged. Why? What's the problem now? And again, the Taurus in me couldn't just leave it be. I confronted the problem in truly childish fashion by sending him a text - hey don't judge me most of you wouldn't have called either. I got to the bottom of it. He was interested, but cautious because he too was getting over a break up - which seemed much worse then mine and since I knew it had happened 4 months ago because I did my background check too, it must have been REALLY bad. So, that made me feel like I should be cautious. I wasn't interested in a boyfriend, I wasn't interested in holding someone's had to just date me and have fun either. So, how do I distract myself....
OKCupid and this blog seemed like the perfect option.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
The Beginning
Last fall, my friend went on Match.com despite her skepticism and overall gut wrenching bad feelings about online dating. I encouraged because she was living outside of Manhattan (out of the action), the guys she were meeting in Manhattan were only after one thing (and it wasn't her brain) and she was generally discouraged about the guys she was meeting. I thought it would be a good boost in her moral, so I said, "Hey! Sign up! What do you have to lose?"
She asked me to sign up in order to see the guys she was talking to and potentially going to meet up with. Luckily, I didn't have to pay in order to look. And she went on a few dates, all pretty uneventful and no true matches. I, however, thought what an amazing experience it would be to go on all these first dates - I mean a lot of them, much more than what my friend was doing. The stories, I thought, would be endless and wonderful comedic material to bring up at happy hours or light dinners with friends. And maybe, I thought, maybe it would even be a really interesting blog. Alas! I was in a relationship and could not go on Match.com to go on all these said dates. The fact that I highly considered doing it anyway despite my relationship status should have be a warning sign.
Ten months later, I was "blindsided" when my boyfriend, who I could have sworn I was madly in love with, came over to tell me our relationship needed to end. I cried! I RAGED! And then I came to my senses. Was I really blindsided? Hadn't I hated our long distance relationship for months? And when I heard our long-distance relationship was going to quite possibly be a much longer-distance relationship because he was interviewing for a job in Florida, hadn't my first thought been if he goes, that will be the end of us no questions asked? Hadn't I known all along he wasn't committing himself to me fully and I so badly wanted to be in a deep, connected relationship? Wasn't I even dating him with one foot outside the door? I was cheating myself for months and he finally gave me the best present he had ever given me in two and a half years, my freedom back.
As I talked it over with friends and realized I was happy about getting back into the dating scene, I also shared how extremely fearful I was. A few suggested match.com. I laughed. Even though it might give me the confidence like it had to my friend, I couldn't get over the desperateness of it especially in regards to payment. I'm 25, I don't need to pay someone/thing to find me someone to go out with, at least not yet....
I joked with my friend Jess, however, about my idea of dating and blogging about it. And since this summer Eat. Pray. Love was coming out in movie theatres, we joked that my blog could be an awful parody of this novel turned movie, entitled "Point. Click. Date." And here we are!
Well, sort of. I wasn't going to really do it. It was a joke, not to be taken seriously. And I didn't want to poke fun at Elizabeth Gilbert's story which was inspiring to so many women - including my mother. But then I started to actually read Eat. Pray. Love. And I was taken aback about Elizabeth Gilbert's honesty with herself. I was impressed with her ability to leave the comforts of her life, get a divorce and discover her new divorced self through adventure. Unfortunately, I'm only 25 and the only adventure I can go on is where the MBTA will take me (and, well, Milwaukee which is my late summer vacation to visit a friend for 4 days). I don't have the luxury right now to leave everything and everyone behind and go on an epic journey to a foreign country for a month let alone a year! I started to brainstorm about other "adventures" I could go on.
As I thought about adventures, my horoscope literally told me to start a blog. It was in the stars! And who am I to mess with what is written in the stars??? Again I thought, Point. Click. Date? The rational side of me battled - CRAZY TALK! But the irrational side kept nagging: a blog, with the right idea, c'mon Katie, this COULD be an adventure.
Then last Thursday, I came home and updated my roommate on my latest love interest was totally failing at making the next move. Again, we got into talking about online dating when she told me about OKCupid - the FREE online dating site. And how she knew people who went on it and got a lot of great dates but nothing more than that. Lots of dates? Free of cost? Could Point. Click. Date really be a reality with no cost to me at all? Well, I had sign up for OKCupid right away and find out. Within 24 hours, the stories I have for you, I hope you will find as amazing as my friend Kaitlin has, who is the person who truly encouraged me to make my crazy idea into a reality.
And maybe it really is in the stars! As I read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love, I feel I have a guide with me to walk me through rediscovering one's self through a completely foreign adventure! As Gilbert navigates herself through her new found single life by eating, praying and loving, I'm going to do it through pointing, clicking and dating. And everything else just seemed to present itself. So, now, here we are.
Maybe I will learn nothing from this. Maybe I will learn a lot about who I am and how I want others to see me. Maybe I will really learn want makes me happy or what really turns me off. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find true love! But, this isn't a skeptic's adventure for nothing, so I highly doubt that I'll find much more than irony and hilarity. Which I'm okay with because if you can't laugh about how ridiculous life is then, well, what's the point?
With that said, let the adventures begin!
She asked me to sign up in order to see the guys she was talking to and potentially going to meet up with. Luckily, I didn't have to pay in order to look. And she went on a few dates, all pretty uneventful and no true matches. I, however, thought what an amazing experience it would be to go on all these first dates - I mean a lot of them, much more than what my friend was doing. The stories, I thought, would be endless and wonderful comedic material to bring up at happy hours or light dinners with friends. And maybe, I thought, maybe it would even be a really interesting blog. Alas! I was in a relationship and could not go on Match.com to go on all these said dates. The fact that I highly considered doing it anyway despite my relationship status should have be a warning sign.
Ten months later, I was "blindsided" when my boyfriend, who I could have sworn I was madly in love with, came over to tell me our relationship needed to end. I cried! I RAGED! And then I came to my senses. Was I really blindsided? Hadn't I hated our long distance relationship for months? And when I heard our long-distance relationship was going to quite possibly be a much longer-distance relationship because he was interviewing for a job in Florida, hadn't my first thought been if he goes, that will be the end of us no questions asked? Hadn't I known all along he wasn't committing himself to me fully and I so badly wanted to be in a deep, connected relationship? Wasn't I even dating him with one foot outside the door? I was cheating myself for months and he finally gave me the best present he had ever given me in two and a half years, my freedom back.
As I talked it over with friends and realized I was happy about getting back into the dating scene, I also shared how extremely fearful I was. A few suggested match.com. I laughed. Even though it might give me the confidence like it had to my friend, I couldn't get over the desperateness of it especially in regards to payment. I'm 25, I don't need to pay someone/thing to find me someone to go out with, at least not yet....
I joked with my friend Jess, however, about my idea of dating and blogging about it. And since this summer Eat. Pray. Love was coming out in movie theatres, we joked that my blog could be an awful parody of this novel turned movie, entitled "Point. Click. Date." And here we are!
Well, sort of. I wasn't going to really do it. It was a joke, not to be taken seriously. And I didn't want to poke fun at Elizabeth Gilbert's story which was inspiring to so many women - including my mother. But then I started to actually read Eat. Pray. Love. And I was taken aback about Elizabeth Gilbert's honesty with herself. I was impressed with her ability to leave the comforts of her life, get a divorce and discover her new divorced self through adventure. Unfortunately, I'm only 25 and the only adventure I can go on is where the MBTA will take me (and, well, Milwaukee which is my late summer vacation to visit a friend for 4 days). I don't have the luxury right now to leave everything and everyone behind and go on an epic journey to a foreign country for a month let alone a year! I started to brainstorm about other "adventures" I could go on.
As I thought about adventures, my horoscope literally told me to start a blog. It was in the stars! And who am I to mess with what is written in the stars??? Again I thought, Point. Click. Date? The rational side of me battled - CRAZY TALK! But the irrational side kept nagging: a blog, with the right idea, c'mon Katie, this COULD be an adventure.
Then last Thursday, I came home and updated my roommate on my latest love interest was totally failing at making the next move. Again, we got into talking about online dating when she told me about OKCupid - the FREE online dating site. And how she knew people who went on it and got a lot of great dates but nothing more than that. Lots of dates? Free of cost? Could Point. Click. Date really be a reality with no cost to me at all? Well, I had sign up for OKCupid right away and find out. Within 24 hours, the stories I have for you, I hope you will find as amazing as my friend Kaitlin has, who is the person who truly encouraged me to make my crazy idea into a reality.
And maybe it really is in the stars! As I read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love, I feel I have a guide with me to walk me through rediscovering one's self through a completely foreign adventure! As Gilbert navigates herself through her new found single life by eating, praying and loving, I'm going to do it through pointing, clicking and dating. And everything else just seemed to present itself. So, now, here we are.
Maybe I will learn nothing from this. Maybe I will learn a lot about who I am and how I want others to see me. Maybe I will really learn want makes me happy or what really turns me off. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find true love! But, this isn't a skeptic's adventure for nothing, so I highly doubt that I'll find much more than irony and hilarity. Which I'm okay with because if you can't laugh about how ridiculous life is then, well, what's the point?
With that said, let the adventures begin!
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