It's not you, it's me. Well, maybe it's you...

After realizing how awesome I am at dating, I decided to get back out there! I went on a date on Thursday, and oh man, it was a doozy! And since it was just Groundhog's Day last week - VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Groundhog Day might be my favorite movie - ever. I should update my OkCupid profile.

Alright back to my date. We hadn't talked that much over messages but I did learn he was a "beer snob." His words, not mine - in retrospect, this was a sign for things to come. Since he was a "beer snob" and he asked if I wanted to meet somewhere near where I lived, I picked Lord Hobo. Lord Hobo is definitely a place I thought worthy of a beer snob. Also, I REALLY like Lord Hobo and the last time I was here I went with The Hipster (click here to watch that wonderful Hipster video clip). That date with The Hipster was so bad, I decided I would try the same date location again. And the date was GREAT but....

But my date, The Promo Guy, well I'm 95% sure he's not straight and he's very much in denial about it. Even I tried to be in denial about it for the first 5 minutes.

The first sign was he was really flamboyant. I mean really. He did just spend two years in LA and I've heard guys are more feminine out there, but it was a little more intense then just feminine.

And I know I have said a few different times that the guys I met from OkCupid and went on dates with gave off a gay vibe but this, this was different. I didn't really think the other guys were gay, I was just turned off by gay vibe they gave off. I really believe Promo Guy is gay. And the biggest sign that made me believe this was  kept reminding me how much he liked girls. For example, we were talking about scary movies and how there is always an unnecessary naked girl scene and quickly, he says, "Well, you know, I like it, because I'm a guy." And he said something similar to this about five different times on five different topics. It drove me crazy but as the date went on and he turned out to be real great guy, I just felt more and more bad for him.

Although, within the first five minutes of our date, I was kind of pissed. I was like great, I have to sit here with this guy who's clearly in the closet and pretend we're having a really great time. Therefore, I tried to make excuses. As he continued to plead with me he was straight I finally switched the way I looked at the night. In my head I turned the switch from "potential date or guy to be interested in" to "potential gay best friend" and then the date went great. He was an AWESOME gay best friend. He laughed at all my jokes, we talked about how hard it was to eat healthy - he once ate 5 Little Debbie cupcakes in one day but how could he not eat them, they were free! He works on promotional tours which are the people you see on your city streets giving shit out for free. He's a step above those people that give you shit for free, he's hires and manages those people. Hence why he had so many Little Debbies at his disposal.

So yeah, we had a great time but if he's going to keep on pretending he's straight he's barking up the wrong tree. Love my gay guys, but not that much.

As we parted ways, I swear he sent out jazz hands in order to bring me in for a hug. I laughed, hugged him and walked away, thinking I'd never see him again. You see though, when he when he texted me  the next day to tell me how much fun he had and that he wanted to hang out again soon, I was torn. We had a blast and I do want to hang out with him again but I don't want to feed his denial or lead him on. I asked a few friends and  they all were torn too. Eventually, I gave in and said yes, we could hang out again. For the inner psychoanalysis in me, I need to get to the source of why he can't come out. He grew up in Massachusetts, went to Emerson College for production, moved to LA - all of these places very gay friendly places. He's also 25 years old and it's 2011! To be fair, however, I'm not sure he knows its 2011 either because....

And this was probably the worst part of my date. He had...


AN EARRING!!! A tiny hoop!!! Really?!?!! What guy has had a tiny hoop earring since the 90s?! Guess that could be his argument for not being gay- his total lack of fashion sense! I really couldn't stop starring at it. It was so hideous and reminded me of Vanilla Ice or the New Kids on the Block. And yes, I love the 90s, but there are some things that happened in the 90s that should stay in the 90s. Number one thing that happened in the 90s that should stay in the 90s: WHITE GUYS WITH HOOP EARRINGS. Really, it was terrible then and it's even worse today.









Of course, I can't mention New Kids on the Block without posting (another) VIDEO CLIP TIME:

The Dating Game

Not much has changed in the last week, except my attitude. I've realized that like any good resolution, I followed mine for about a good week or so and then totally stopped. This was supposed to be the year of no expectations! It only took two weeks into the new year and all of a sudden I was back to having expectations. I expected something, anything, from basic strangers!And well, that set me up for total disaster. Not that I'm blaming myself for New Years Guy and Medicine Man for disappearing and being total lame guys but if I had gone into both situations with truly no expectations I don't think I would have been nearly as bummed out about it.

Like I said, my attitude is much different as I write this entry. I did a number of things to get me out of the funk I was in last week. First, I called The Ex, he came over, we made dinner together, he slept over and it felt like the old days - and even though it's not the old days and it can't be the old days, it was nice to pretend for the night. I then set up a date for Thursday with The Ex which went terribly wrong at the end of the night that left me screaming "HAVE FUN IN FLORIDA!" and slamming the car door in his face. I actually thought that this was going to be the last thing I ever said to him. That set me back a couple of days, funk-wise, but then I went to dinner with Kaitlin at Zoe's in Harvard Square. And I had sweet potato pancakes AMAZING. Sorry, this isn't a food blog although maybe it should be because eating and sleeping is pretty much what  I did the rest of the weekend. I woke up Sunday morning feeling refreshed and full. And then I realized I needed to call The Ex because again, I really thought he was just going to leave for Florida without saying Goodbye. I guess we'll never know if he would have just left but luckily he I called and came over Sunday night with ice cream and daisies to apologize for his ass-like behavior. We ended things on a good note - maybe too good and I should be depressed, crying like a baby but somehow I feel okay about things. I guess it's because I'm dumb and I truly believe I'm Carrie Bradshaw incarnate (it doesn't help that E! is now airing reruns of the Sex and the City either).

Anyway, I'm out of my funk and saying the word funk has obviously made me think of VIDEO CLIP TIME (Probably because I've worked/watched the Donkey Show one too many times):



Oh, Disco!

Since I was in a funk last week and pretty much benched myself from dating because of it, I was getting pretty down on myself for sucking at the dating game. I finally realized I was being too hard on myself! And I looked back at the last 5 months and actually, I'm pretty damn good at the dating game.

First of all, in the last 5 months, I've met 10 different people from OkCupid and since I went out on 5 dates with The Animator and 3 with Medicine Man (And I am counting the awkward double date with Andrea and his brother as a date) that equals 16 dates in 5 months! That's an average of 3.2 a month not bad - BUT - this doesn't include The Ex, The Musician, Hot Jersey Guy OR New Years Guy. Although I only went on one "real" date with The Musician, I'm going to count all the times we hung out which actually turns out to be 12 times, and I'm shocked at that number I really thought it was about 5 or 6 times total (woops). And I'm going to count 1 for Hot Jersey Guy and 2 for New Years Guy (since there was 2 awkward mornings). For The Ex, I'm going to have to estimate here, if The Musician was 12 in 5 months, I'm going to have to say 24 for The Ex. So, that's a total of 39 dates in 5 months making my average 7.8 dates per month - that's almost 2 dates per week!!


And if we pretend I'm a professional dater meaning my work week is 5 days instead of 7, that's 100 days of potential dates which you may say well 39 dates in 100 days is really only a 39% rate not great BUT I'm a big baseball fan. And I see those 100 potential dates as my "up to bats," making my batting average .390! Which is crazy! I'm like the Ty Cobb of dating. Okay, maybe this last part was a stretch but it beats being the Debbie Downer of Dating. So, I'm looking upward and onward! It's a new month and I think I'm ready to get back into the dating game!

Pity, Party of One, Your Table's Ready

Okay to be honest all weekend, I have been a huge Debbie Downer. Luckily between sequestering myself at home and working, the only fun I ruined was my own unlike..... VIDEO CLIP TIME:

So, yep I just had a pity party all by myself. But let's back up a bit shall we? The week started so wonderfully.

Sunday
Happy, content with all the different guys I was juggling - I saw it as options. Texting with the Medicine Man was non-stop and it was fun. He invited me to hang out on Monday. I guess I did have an awkward conversation with The Ex about basically telling him if we'd still been together I would have really thought about moving to Florida with him. It stung to even say those words aloud, I'm hoping it stung him to hear them. But, whatever The Ex would be gone soon and I had other people I could bring my attention to.


Monday
A day off - finally! I went to hip-hop yoga (not as crazy as it sounds just yoga to hip hop music) in the morning, watched a movie and slept all day until it was time to meet the Medicine Man. We met in Kendall at Think Tank. Which is actually a really cool restaurant/lounge. We just got drinks, although I really need to get dinner there sometime. Anyway, I was kind of nervous coming into the date because I had such a relaxing day and my last encounter with the Medicine Man was him bouncing off the wall. I just wasn't in the mood for a crazy amount of energy. Luckily, he was way more calm and we had a really great time. And the whole "I'm going to feel your pulse and tell you what kind of Chinese herbs you need, I can heal the things that bother you" was very attractive. Maybe I'm a total sucker and he does this to all girls to get them hooked but whatever, it worked. Also, I'm not sure if he sensed I was into his brother a bit last time we hung out but Medicine Man didn't fail to mention some unflattering stories about his brother on this date. It might have been unintentional but even if it was intentional I thought it was kind of cute. Anyway, we had a lot of fun, the conversation never had any awkward moments and all of a sudden it was late and time to go home.

We headed out and walked together with the intentions of him going to the train and me going home. Well, when we got to the point in which we should have parted ways we instead made out (side note: I'm getting real sick of the phrase made/make out but I feel kiss implies something sweeter) in the street. And then he said he'd "walk me home" and I'm sure you can all guess where this leads. So yeah, I finally gave in and invited him in. He ended up staying the night but I swear nothing happened except us making out. He didn't really try anything at first and finally when he did I was kind of into the whole teenage make-out session. He didn't seem to mind either, so all was well. And in the morning, I didn't have to worry about kicking him out because I really did have to go to work. :)

Tuesday
Exhausted and feeling kind of ill from lack of sleep, I went home early from work. And The Ex wanted to video chat. And we did, but something about it bothered me. We used to video chat when we were in the long distance part of our relationship. We had some pretty racy video chats, I won't lie, but since we pretty much video chatted everyday, not all of them were. This video chat on Tuesday reminded me of all those non-racy video chats, which reminded me of a time when even when we were 1000 miles away from each other we were still happy and somehow made things work. And I think this is where I started getting supplies for my pity party. On the bright side, Medicine Man and I were texting and sending emails like crazy. It was nice to get the attention.

Wednesday
More texting, more emails from the Medicine Man. And then he asked if I'd have lunch with him on Thursday. He didn't have work so he'd come into meet me for lunch. ADORABLE. Of course, I said yes. Oh man, I realized, I'm actually starting to like this guy. And this made things really awkward for me when I had a date with a new OkCupid guy that night.

Yeah, I had a date with... The Interrogator. I'm calling him that because I have no freaking clue what his job/title really is but it was long and had something to do with training people how to ask the right questions to companies who may be involved with fraud. He is also looking into getting into the FBI. So, you know The Interrogator seems appropriate. He also grilled me as well with questions before I got any in for him.

How'd the date go? Well, I was having awkward feelings about The Ex and new, fuzzy feelings about The Medicine Man so basically I wasn't really in the place to go on a date with someone brand new. Plus we went to Cuchi Cuchi which is this really cool restaurant but a fancy/pricey - well at least really chic. I was under the impression we were just getting drinks at the bar. Well, turns out he had a table reserved and we ended up getting some food too. I wasn't prepared for a formal date and this threw me off. I was acting like a nut, spilled my drink, kept mumbling when I couldn't get the mussels I ordered out of their shell. I don't know if he thought I was a weirdo or just nervous or both. I kind of wish someone was videotaping how awkward I was. He still paid for me (thank God, Cuchi Cuchi like I said isn't the cheapest place) and he even took me home in a cab - which was out of his way and paid for my share of the cab.

I guess it's true what they say about timing, if I had met The Interrogator a week or so earlier, we'd probably really hit it off. Unfortunately, I was a mess and I'm not surprised in the least bit that I haven't heard from him.

Thursday
I had lunch with the Medicine Man. We got cheap tacos and hung out. Another great date that ended with him telling me he'd give me acupuncture on Saturday and then kissed me on the forehead goodbye. Super cute.

That evening I went out with my Mom gushing about Medicine Man and saw Jersey Boys - so fun! On my walk home from the train, I talked to the Ex and when I said I was home he was sad that I had to go. Again, infuriating me for no great reason. I guess my frustration came from the idea that talking to a guy before bed should be reserved for best friends or boy friends, in my opinion, and while The Ex has recently said he feels he lost his best friend when I wasn't talking to him, he's made it very clear that he can't be just friends with me. And his move to Florida really rules him out as being anything more than friends. I'm still keeping my cool though. No need to get upset. Besides... I have other options.

Friday
Let the pity party begin! The Ex had been asking me to hang out on Friday but I wanted to keep my options open so I said I had plans. The fact is, I didn't have plans. This is the point where I realize New Years Guy has dropped off the planet. Really, what was the point of saying, "Yes, let's definitely hang out when I get back" if he obviously had no intentions of hanging out with me? Is passive aggressively turning someone down a cool thing to do? I don't need a rejection letter like The Actor gave me but honestly just ignore my text message if you're over me. Leading someone on just because you don't know what else to say is rude. Anyway, New Years Guy's behavior makes me think of The Musician which makes me feel like an idiot all over again. Again, this blog should really be called I'm. An. Idiot. I'm feeling more like one every day. I call The Ex and he's invites me to Clerys a cool bar with a dance floor downstairs. And this sets me over the edge. I don't know if he's going with friends to just have a fun time or to just go and grind up on any girl who will look his way. Then I realize, I'm getting jealous. And THEN I realize sleeping with him a couple weeks ago was not a strings attached moment. And I finally give into the fact that our 5 month break up is actually getting to me and bringing me down. So, I pick a fight with him which was irrational but I did mean some of the things I said.  Then I stay in and watch a movie about people falling in love. Pathetic.

Saturday
A new day? Hardly. I'm still in a terrible mood. I ask the Medicine Man if we're still on for my acupuncture treatment. Nope. But he's still going to come to the Donkey Show later that night which I happen to be working, so we make plans to hang out afterward. I ask him to tell me by 10pm how many people he's coming with so I can set tickets aside for him. And 10pm rolls around and I hear nothing. I finally get a text message at 12am saying he fell asleep and he's sorry, don't hate him. If I wasn't throwing a pity party for myself I wouldn't care  - things happen, but this isn't the week to make a mistake with me. Of course, I tell him it's fine. I go to bed disappointed, sad, mad and all the other negative emotions one can feel at the same time.

I really know how to pick em'.

Well, no time to cry about it and since I just saw Jersey Boys, I'll leave you with this classic VIDEO CLIP TIME, NUMERO DOS: