All good things must come to an end

To my true and blue blog readers from literally all over the world and to the 5'5" creepy guys on OkCupid:

I regret to inform you that I have deactivated my OkCupid account. Yes, that means there will be no more Pointing. (well, I'm sure I'll point at something) Clicking (again, clicking probably will still happen but not at cute strangers but more at my desktop icons) but most importantly no more DATING.

It's been a wild ride. I've met some really interesting characters some tall (The Animator, The Catch), some not tall enough (The Renaissance Man), some a bit creepy/psychotic (The Scientist/The Stalker),  a few too feminine (The Artist, Sideways), some definitely not straight (The Promo Guy) and some just absolutely perfect but just too far away (sigh... Hot Jersey Guy... sigh -also please note I didn't actually meet him online). It had it's laughs, it's up and down but this ride is making me nauseous and I want off.

Love always,

Your eternal (and now rightfully so) skeptic.

VIDEO CLIP TIME:



Okay I hope we all had a good cry. And now that it's all out, I'll explain why.

The Catch, was surprise, SURPRISE, not a catch at all. In fact, I'm pissed off that I even named him The Catch because to be honest there wasn't even a catch like he was great but he had erectile dysfunction or he's perfect but he has this really awkward taxidermy hobby. Nope, he was actually just like all the other assholes I met on OkCupid and off of the site as well. Just when I convinced myself I could actually like the guy he goes MIA without even so much as a lie like, "I'm moving to China, it's been nice knowing you!" Seriously, like what the fuck? I'm beginning to think I really might be an idiot. Let's see this happened with The Musician, New Years Guy, Medicine Man and now The Catch? I mean three of four were in the last two months. Yup. Done. Sorry.

Especially since The Catch actually said, "I would never just disappear" or something equal to that. Like he'd be all big and man enough to tell me he just wasn't interested anymore if that might be the case. Well, that was proven wrong before I even really had time to digest his words fully. You know what the catch was? Me catching the load of bullshit he threw in my direction. Do I sound angry and bitter?

Well, I should because I am.

And here I thought everything was going to end magically. I mean it did for fucking Elizabeth Gilbert and her stupid book Eat. Pray. Love. Well, here's my book review Lizzie: After you ate, gained weight and were hysterical in your own self pity your book (not to even mention the film) got so boring it actually almost took me 6 months to read (and I fell asleep the second Julia Roberts got to India).

Okay, I'm sorry Elizabeth. I'm really happy you found love at the end of your book but that was just too perfect and I'm not sure how it even came true for you and well, congratulations you got a second book out of it.

Unfortunately, this is not how Point. Click. Date ends. This skeptic will keep on thinking that online dating is a sham and that only if I actually treated it like a full time job would it actually result in something. And even then can you call something you put that much effort in love?! And really, if I did put that much effort in just think of all the other cool things I'd be missing out on.

And that got me thinking. For the last six months, I've been focusing all my attention on my dating/love life. All of it. I tried taking a graduate class to distract me but it didn't really work. I just ended up promoting my blog to my classmates and feeling the need to drink more to cope with the added stress and then I drunk-texted people that I shouldn't have.

I need to be stopped. I have been all consumed by dating and all it's given me is a bunch of drama. And I don't want to be the girl with the drama. Not cool. Once upon a time, I made art and participated in theater - not sure when the last time that happened. I had dreams and hopes other than maybe this fling will turn into something more meaningful.

With all the free time I have who knows what fun things I will discover!


And guess what? This girl is going to BLOG about it.

I'm going to blog about me proactively not dating. No, I'm actually going to avoid it. Like the plague. And I can't think of a better time to start this then right around lent which starts Wednesday! I'm not religious but I was raised Catholic so I'm sure someone is really smiling down on me for actually participating in lent this year. Or maybe their frowning as I'm pretty sure I'm not doing it correctly. Whatever, the point is for AT LEAST the next 40 days I'm going to proactively not date and let's be real this may go on for another 40 after that and another 40 after that...

Also, I know what you must be thinking but "Um... what about your 10 day trip to Florida with The Ex???" Well,  I'm not sure what the hell I'd call that but it's definitely not dating. Although, now that I'm not dating at all, sex could enter back into the equation for my 10 day vacation in Florida. And I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that. Because really, I'm not sure how I can not date and have sex. And to go too long without sex is no good for business. I'll be cranky and write cranky blog posts and no one wants to read that. So, maybe I can somehow figure out how to not date and get laid anyway without becoming a trashy whore. Now THAT sounds like a blog.

There's one more thing, dear readers, before I leave you with my link for my new adventure in life after dating. There's something I should tell you. It may come to you as a surprise. But as all good things must come to an end, all great things must come full circle.

The Musician is back in the picture.

Obviously we aren't dating because that wouldn't make any sense. But for some reason the kid has stuck in my mind all these months. I'm not in love with him if that's what you're thinking. No, the real reason is because once upon a time, I really couldn't wait to get to know him. And then, well instead of getting to know him, I got him naked. And really, the only wonderful amazing conversations I remember having with him were before I saw him naked.  Not that we didn't have fun while naked... I digress. What I'm saying is I saw real potential in him as just a person I would like. And although I said some pretty harsh things about the guy, I rushed into making it something before I even got to know him. Being his friend first would have made a lot more sense, looking back. And hey, since I'm not in the market for dates but I am in the market for friends, I emailed him and proposed a friendship. And he accepted (like facebook but sweeter aww). And do I still think he is a little socially retarded? Yes. Do I still probably disapprove of the way he treats women? Yes. But, I'm his friend now. And I will just shake my head at him when he does dumb things and think, "Oooh silly musician and I actually wanted to date you once, back when I dated...."

It's going to be great. I'm excited for not dating.

So please on Wednesday, March 9th, 2011. Please join me on:


Life. After Dating


http://lifeafterdating.tumblr.com/ (Not that I don't love blogspot but I just don't get tumblr so I figured I'd give a whirl!)

THE FINAL POINT. CLICK. DATE. VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Should I stay or should I go?

Believe it or not but today marks the 6 month anniversary of Point. Click. Date. !!! And I have a very special Anniversary Video Clip time brought to you by the Huxtables - VIDEO CLIP TIME:

Six months. And I've pointed a ton, clicked even more but I have only met twelve lucky guys from OKCupid. 

According to all the match.com commercials, 1 out of 5 relationships start online so remember the post I did about statistics, The Dating Game? Well, according to these statistics I actually suck at dating. Or maybe this means I should have been on match.com this whole time.

Or...


Do I even dare say it? Maybe, for me, it's 1 out of 12 people you meet online will turn into a relationship. As nervous as it makes me to admit this, The Catch could actually turn into something that at least comes close to resembling a relationship if not turn into one. It's a big statement I know. We've only been on four dates but I literally find myself looking and looking for flaws and trying to point them out to myself. Things like he changes the subject to fast, he talks in this ridiculous voice to his puppy  - but really? Who am I kidding these flaws are not deal breakers - not even close. And all the good qualities, well there pretty good. And all this means well, I really like him. And I'll go out a limb here and say the feeling is mutual.

So, we'll see. Unfortunately, given my track record in the last 6 months there have only been three guys I got excited about and all three completely went MIA as soon as I got excited. So, it's hard for me to really think that The Catch, as perfect as he may be, won't just be a catch and disappear just like all the others did. The awesome thing is I actually told him about this fear. He told me he wasn't the type to do that - and because I'm a fan of the American legal system I'll believe he's innocent until proven guilty.

I ALSO told him about The Ex!! I told him about the dragging on of the break up and my impending trip to Florida to visit The Ex - all of it! Of course, he asked why I didn't just change/cancel the flight and I didn't get into it but I said although I might shorten it I was hoping to really go down there to give myself closure. And after that the reaction was not quite what I expected. He said something along the lines of: "Well, I think the only solution to this is that you stay the night." I almost spit my wine in his face. I wasn't sure why that was his reaction. Did it mean we should just sleep together because he wanted to make sure he got that in before I left for Florida? Or did he want me to stay the night so he could convince me for an entire night why going to Florida is a bad idea? Or was it something completely different or really bizarre? It was really none of the above, I'm not sure I still REALLY understand his reasoning but after going to The Living Room and having another glass of wine and some kissing on the couch (yes I was sober and yes I was actually okay with kissing in public - weird I KNOW!)  the answer was yes, yes I should go to his house and stay the night.

We went to his house, made dinner with his roommates and just hung out. Nothing more than kissing happened when we went to bed and overall it was a really awesome night. He drove me home the next morning and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Until...

I called The Ex - before your shake your head at me I called BECAUSE he called me drunk at 4 in the morning. Oh yea, it was awesome when I got two phone calls back to back while sleeping at The Catch's house. It totally supported my earlier statements that going down to Florida would be strictly friendly and to ends things -NOPE, No it didn't. I think The Catch was really put off by it but because I'm the most awkward person in the world I think he realized that I wasn't happy about the phone call or expecting it.


So yes, I called The Ex to see if he was okay because I could barely make out his voicemails. The conversation was going fine until he asked...."What did you do last night?" I thought about what I did, knew I couldn't say it, blanked and stumbled over words and said something like, "Ummm I just hung out?" And then I tried to cover this statement or something by saying, "I met someone who knows Laura (one of his best friend's fiancé)." And that's when he went ballistic, asked if I took this guy home and then said other really terrible things and proceeded to hang up. He then only would communicate with me via text until 11:30pm at night when he picked up the phone and said he wasn't going to talk because it was too late. Mind you, two days prior to this insane behavior The Ex called me, surprise DRUNK, and yelled at me for about two-three hours and told me how horrible I was to him.

And the question everyone has an answer for but me: Should I stay or should I go? Cue the music - VIDEO CLIP TIME 2!:



I know the answer is no. I know I should just cancel it, eat the change/cancel fee, try and plan something else that does NOT involve The Ex for another time -  I know this. I get THIS. Not only should I not go, I should not WANT to do. But, despite everything that's happened, I just don't think I can not go. I don't want to go down there to mess around and prolong this break up even more, I'm serious when I say this. I don't even want to sleep in the same bed with him let alone sleep with him. But, I do want to see him. I truly want to go down there to end things face to face, once and for all. I just don't think it will feel the same over the phone. I honestly know that after I see him, I can't talk to him again so I'd like to have one last time where we are actually being civil to one another and are enjoying each others company - as friends and friends alone. Maybe if I see that we can act like friends that one day that's what we'll really be. Maybe it's too idealistic of me and going down there will be an even worse version of the past two phone calls I've had with The Ex but I think I'll regret it if I don't try to end things on a good note.

All together now: I'm. An. Idiot.

But then I get a text message: "I'm heading to bed. Thought I'd say goodnight...."

I might be an idiot but I'm an idiot that gets a goodnight text message from someone I think is a catch.

A blind date, a second date & a quick trip to Jersey

A lot can happen in a month, even more in just a week. This week was one of those weeks. I also say this because I'm wondering why I would ever book a ticket to see The Ex 6 weeks in advance. Yet another example of why this blog should be called I'm. An. Idiot. More about that later, on to my very eventful week.

First, the blind date. A while ago my roommate, Erin, said it would be interesting if I was set up on a blind date and compared a blind date to an online date. I told this to my friend Lily and about two days later she had set me up on a blind date. I was definitely more nervous because I knew about two things about him: He was in grad school at Northeastern and he worked with my friend Lily. Not exactly the information you need to know if you're going to hit it off with someone. We met at Tory Row in Harvard Square at his suggestion. It was a cool place, he was cute and really fun. But... I just wasn't into him. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better blind date but for whatever reason I couldn't picture dating him. I do realy think he's cool though so I'm wondering if there is a way to be his friend. We split the bill so I thought that was a good start to a beautiful friendship. As for going on a blind date vs. an online date, well, my nerves were much higher before the blind date but it was actually a lot easier going on the blind date. When I go on a date with someone I meet online I feel like I have to remember everything they've said in messages and in their profile as well what I've said in messsages and what I have made public information on my profile. Another thing that sucks about online dating is because of the messages you have before you go on a date the few icebreaker questions you would ask at the beginning have already been answered. I had to say since Blind Date and I knew three or less facts about one another the conversation was endless and pretty great. Although I do have to give Blind Date credit, he had a great personality and wasn't shy at all.

Another reason I think I wasn't as into Blind Date as I would have been if the date had happened a week earlier was because I couldn't stop thinking about WTFiTC Guy which I'm going to remame The Catch because either there is one or he is one, it remains to be seen.

I had canceled on The Catch because something extremely tragic in The Ex's life which I won't talk about here because it's too sad and too serious to write about here. Anyway, to be there for The Ex I rearranged my whole schedule. I thought if the situation was reversed I would need and want to him to be with me. I found out quickly that The Ex didn't want or need me to help him get through this terrible time. I think this finally was what I needed to make me realize that this isn't the kind of boyfriend I need in my life. I want to be in a relationship in which the other person wants me around him when things are bad, good and everything in between. The Ex only wants me around when things are good and when I did finally see him and he said "It's just eaiser to be with my friends right now" he might as well said, "It's just easier to have you not so close to me." He's always been like this but it took this tragic event for it really to sink in. He's not a support system for me and he won't let me be a support system for him. We have always had the potential to be something great but I cannot and will not waste another day waiting for him to come around, grow up and for us to reach that potential. I'm starting to see that it probably won't ever happen. And now I have this looming trip to Florida. Do I cancel? Do I go down to end things once and for all? Again so much can happen in a week let alone a month, so as hastily as I booked the trip, I'm not going to hastily cancel the trip. When the trip gets closer hopefully I'll know what to do.

Back to The Catch. When I realized The Ex had no need for me to be around, I uncancelled the date with The Catch and we went for drinks at The Russell House, again at the suggestion of Blind Date (I don't think he realized by telling me it was a cool place I'd go on a date there with someone else). The place was great and I had another amazing date. Seriously, he's perfect and it's pissing me off. I told him this and he saw skeptic that I truly am. Although, I have been wondering maybe he's not perfect at all and any other person would be able to see his imperfections but I can't get past how amazingly good looking he is. I'm blinded by his gorgeousness.

As for me and my flaws, I told him about the blog! I think he was little weirded out about it to be honest but he kept a good attitude about it. He told me he was just going to keep asking, "Are you going to blog about this?" And telling him about my blog got me a kiss so good thing I told him about it! I told him he couldn't look for the blog or read and it he promised he wouldn't but only if I kissed him. No brainer! It was pretty adorable and a very sweet kiss.

As for my other issue I wanted to tell him about aka The Ex and my future trip to Florida, I tried to tell him, I really did. It just never quite got out. Next time, I swear, because there is going to be a next time! The Catch was even more adorable at the end of our date. I was headed to NYC for the weekend and he asked when I was getting back and I said Monday but not until late. And he said, "Well, I want to see you as soon as I can after Monday." I melted and said Tuesday, of course Tuesday. And if my life was a movie this song would have played, VIDEO CLIP TIME!:



And then I went home and gushed about him for hours to my roommate in good teenage fashion. I'm trying to not get too excited about him though because last week he wasn't in my life and next week he might be out of it again, who knows really. Okay, I'll be a little honest between The Musician, New Years Guy and Medicine Man all dissapearing just when I thought things were going good I'm a little burned and don't want to be burned off guard again.

So I headed to NYC for the weekend to visit my friends, a perfect way to not overthink things and get too excited about The Catch. Of course, a few days before I left for NYC, I thought it might be nice to let Hot Jersey Guy know about my upcoming visit. To be honest, my intentions were to try and hang out with him in a very innocent way. I wanted to just kind of stare at him and admire him like a trophy and say to myself, "Yeah, I did that." But by the time I met up with Hot Jersey Guy on Saturday night I had one too many drinks and it didn't take me long until I was making out with him in a bar. And it was all me. I have never been so forward in my life. I'm not sure what came over me. I think the combination of the fact that I haven't gotten any real action in awhile, I've been on a "look but don't touch" basis with The Catch - no easy task at all and I just find Hot Jersey Guy so freaking hot, I was all over that - real fast. And next thing I know, I'm in New Jersey. You know you're no longer a New Yorker when... you go to Jersey to get laid. But I have to say, on my train ride on the PATH back to Manhattan the next morning, I thought, "Yup, I did that. Again."

Cue the music please. VIDEO CLIP TIME 2: